Lately I’ve been feeling sluggish and tired all the time. I thought it was because I had a cold or something. Then this weekend I realized it was because my eating habits have gone downhill and I’ve slacked on the exercising. Time to get back on track and on the road to feeling better. There’s just one problem – I love food!!

Anyone that knows me knows that I have an obsession with food. It is constantly in the forefront of my mind. And not just any food – tasty, rich, yummy food (vegetables need not apply)!

Most of my life this was not a problem. I had a high metabolism and so didn’t have to worry about it. But the years have caught up with me and my metabolism isn’t what it used to be. Combine that with a 56 lb. weight gain during pregnancy and you have one unhappy, overweight mom with sore breasts and no sleep. Be afraid, be very afraid. So, I worked hard and lost 61 pounds last year and now actually weigh less than I did before pregnancy.

However, my love for food has not gone away and with no motivation to lose weight, my will power and resolve have flown out the window. Lately I’ve pretty much been eating whatever I want or feel like, giving in to whims, temptations and emotional eating. It doesn’t help that a new sugary piece of heaven shows up in our pod at work everyday and I can’t refuse. That would be rude. I haven’t starting gaining too much weight yet (just a pound or 2) but if I don’t curb this now, I’ll end up right back where I started.

Part of the problem is that I don’t like vegetables but do love starches and sweets and generally all things high in fat and calories. Like I said before, I think about food all the time. So while I’m eating breakfast, I’m already wondering what I’ll have for lunch. During lunch my mind wanders to my afternoon snack and then quickly to dinner. If I’m sad, I want chocolate to make it better. If I’m stressed, please hand me some cookies. If I’m happy, help me celebrate by going out for burgers!

See what I mean?

The following are statements that I totally don’t understand:

• Wow, I was so busy today that I forgot to eat lunch.
• Hold the cheese please.
• Could I get extra vegetables with that?
• I’m not really a ‘sweets’ person.
• No dessert for me, I’m full.
• Oh man, these fresh veggies really hit the spot!
• I’m craving fruit right now.
• No bread for me, I’ll just wait for my meal.
• Just a small piece of cake please.
• No french fries, I’ll take a side salad instead.

I mean, come on. How does one forget to eat? And why on Earth would you want extra vegetables? I read a few healthy living blogs each day and they always showcase their meals, which consist of quinoa and veggies and kale and ground flaxseed and more veggies. Who really eats like that? I admire those women as I wish that would satisfy me but it just doesn’t.

When CJ and I were dating, he wanted to order a pizza with only half the cheese and I almost broke up with him on the spot. I mean, really, there are some things that are non-negotiable. Thank goodness he was cute or his butt would have been kicked to the curb!

So how is one to maintain their weight loss and yet feel satisfied and able to enjoy the food they love?

They say that if you treat yourself with small portions of your favorite foods, you’ll be able to stay on track. The problem for me is sticking with small portions. I’ve tried the “grazing” thing where you eat 6 small meals a day but it didn’t work. Apparently a burger and fries doesn’t count as a small meal.

The only thing I’ve found that works for me is to either be mandated to eat better (like by a doctor or something) or have a specific target/goal in mind (i.e. being able to wear a bikini during our summer vacation). Right now I don’t really have either of those so I need to find something to drive me. I realize that wanting to be healthy should be enough but honestly, it’s just not.

But I will keep trying. My goal? To feel good about my choices every day. One smart choice at a time is all it takes. A fruit or veggie at every meal? I can probably do that. Skipping the chocolate chip cookies in favor of celery? Probably not. I know my limits.

Here’s to a fresh start, and one good choice at a time!

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