The OCp: End of an Era

When I left the Annex several weeks ago, I pledged to try to continue this regular series of work-related stories from our west office, OCP. I have done that for the past 5 weeks or so but am quickly discovering that while this is a much nicer office, it is, well, boring. Let’s face it, no regular office can compete with the oddities the come along with having your office inside a mall. Men on scooters chasing after you? Abandoned stores? Haunted theatres? Yes please!

With that said, I am going to stop writing this as a regular series (sorry Joe). [Commence weeping.] I’m not giving up on it entirely as I’m sure there will be things to report from time to time, perhaps I will even head back to the Annex. But for now, I just don’t have enough content to continue a weekly serial.

It’s sort of fitting to end this as a regular series after this week because there were a lot of finales here. First of all, I no longer have a desk down at the Annex. {tear} The Brit emailed me asking if I still needed that desk reserved for me, and well, I don’t. On the rare occasion that I go down there for a meeting, I’ll just have to find some place else to park. Maybe Scooter would let me sit on his lap and give me rides around the mall. Who are we kidding – of course he’d let me do that (and I think I just puked in my mouth a little). Or perhaps I could use his designated bathroom stall nap room as a temporary office. When in doubt, there’s always the dumpster, as Barry well knows.

Speaking of Scooter, the Brit tells me that there were complaints lodged about him to the mall management and he’s been removed from the property. Removed or else he’s hiding out somewhere. Perhaps in the back of his brother’s restaurant? I kind of feel bad for the guy. Sure he was creepy, but in a cute, “old guy next door who flirts with all his neighbors but you know is harmless” kind of way.

Finally, it seems that one of the meeting rooms is being shut down for good at The Mall. I got an email the other day that said:

In an effort to minimize utility consumption and reduce expenses, we will be permanently closing the Lower Level Multipurpose Room effective March 7, 2011. Closing the room now and cleaning up unused furniture and supplies will also make the transition to our new space an easier process.

Translation – there’s too much mold in this room for it to be considered safe so we’re closing it up.

Or, perhaps there’s another reason. This is what our group think:

  • Me: Aw look, they’re closing the multi-purpose room. So sad…
  • Bob: Also, the bodies are starting to smell. Wish us luck in finding better facilities.
  • Brit: Bodies? I don’t know what you are talking about….
  • Bob: Seriously, that was the worst meeting room in the history of humanity, humanities future, and more. It is probably haunted by hundreds of ghosts too bored to spook anyone.
  • Brit: HA HA! Too damp to spook anyone you mean…they have to keep wringing their sheets!
  • Bubbles: But there is table tennis and Foosball down there!

Maybe they’ll find Scooter’s real home back there. Or maybe that’s where he’s hiding out…

Now on to OCP news. They brought in donuts and pizza yesterday for us. And guess what – I was invited this time! I feel so loved. While eating, the Brit told us about her scary spider incident from the other day.

Apparently, she was using the company gym, and running on the treadmill, when she saw something out of the corner of her eye. She looked over to see a spider dangling from the ceiling a few feet away from her. Naturally, she tried to run away from it but hey, she was on the treadmill, so she didn’t get very far. She had to ask one of the guys in there to come get it. He did and then hung the little web off the lat pull down bar so that when the next poor chap who wants to buff up his back muscles goes to use it, he’ll get attacked by a vicious spider. Note that if that spider had hung from the ceiling at the Annex, he would have been a mutated tarantula wearing a raincoat and holding inhalers in each leg. He would have looked up at The Brit, said “Allo” in a deep husky voice and then offered her a cup of tea, which she would have taken because hey, she’s British.

The other take away from lunch yesterday was that the Brit hates Josh Groban. I happen to like Josh Groban so when I returned to my desk I sent her an IM that said “I Josh Groban.” She responded with “Barf” then proceeded to tell me that she was enjoying a piece of cheesecake. I asked her where she got it from and she said, “From your broken dreams.” That’s it, she is so going to pay for teasing me with luscious creamy cheesecake! Let’s just say someone may or may not have touched/licked/rubbed on all some of her office supplies. I don’t know who it could have been…I just hope The Brit is up on her vaccinations.

[Reading back over this I realized that I used strike through way too much a lot in this post. I hope that doesn’t annoy anyone. If it does too bad so sad because this is my blog and I’ll do what I want to. Sorry if it does!]

That’s all for this week! Thanks for tuning in to…

If you liked this, you might also like:

The OCp: The Premiere

The OCp: from A to Zamboni

The OCp: Winter Woes

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The OCp: Over the Hill

Guess who had a birthday and turned the big 4-0 this week?

No, not me but thanks for the thought (mental note, invest in some anti-wrinkle cream). It’s Barry! His birthday was on Thursday and we did it up right!

The plan was for Bubbles to get Barry over to OCP (usually they work in the Annex) on Thursday. He and I were supposed to have a 7 a.m.  meeting that day so it made sense for him to be in the same office. They reserved QWS rooms for the day too (otherwise he would have been dragged out to the town square and hung).

Wednesday evening before I left the office, I decorated his QWS with all kinds of stuff!

As you can see, there were black streamers everywhere, along with caution tape. I made sure to wrap each chair good too!

This one is covered in a garbage bag and has a sign for “Dumpster Seating”!

And this one is wrapped in the caution tape.

On the table was a cone and some black leis along with a card that I cannot show on this website because it’s family friendly.

Finally, on the door, I put a sign letting everyone know that the room was reserved.

Here’s the funny thing – you all know that everyone I talk about in The OCp and Annexed have aliases. I don’t use anyone’s real name in order to protect their privacy. So, “Barry” is not “Barry’s” real name. But I put it on the sign for fun. Well, apparently, people that didn’t know him were walking by the room and saying “Hey, Happy Birthday Barry!” thinking it was his real name. He just played along. Ha!

Mid-morning, we broke out the cake. Wait, mid-morning you say? Yes, that’s exactly what I said. To some, that may be too early for cake. But those people aren’t seeing my logic. See, if you cut the cake in the morning, then you have it to snack on all day long! Brilliant!

Here was the cake that Bubbles brought in for Barry:

Perfect don’t you think? It was yummy too.

For lunch, we all went to Whole Foods again (this seems to be our new spot). Our lunch conversations take all kinds of turns. We talked about poo, travel, flying, the fact that the Queen of England refuses to potty on a toilet that’s been used by a commoner, Prince Albert (both the man and the piercing), Prince (otherwise known as the symbol) and seaweed. That’s all pretty standard stuff right? You mean that’s not what you talk about at lunch? Huh.

Bob and I rode with the Brit on the way down, but she had to leave early for a meeting, so we rode with Barry and Bubbles on the way back. This meant Bob had to stuff himself (Grape Ape style) into their little car.

Several of the gang went to the casino Thursday night to continue the celebration. See, Barry is a regular and has a gazillion points he can use on dinners, hotel rooms, etc. So he treated the Brit, Bubbles and Boston (our Project Manager who I don’t talk about  much but he’s a real character. This week he told us how he’s a 2nd degree black belt and can break bricks and blocks with his head, hands and feet. He’s only broken about every bone in his body and knocked himself out a couple times…) to dinner. I had volleyball and Bob had to be home with the family which is why we weren’t there. Plus, between the 2 of us, we could have eaten up all Barry’s points in one dinner and we didn’t want to do that on his birthday. We’ll do that some other night.

I hear there were many stories told and much alcohol consumed. I also hear there were pictures taken but these have not been shared with me so I can’t share them with you. I did see a couple drunk Facebook posts last night though…

Thanks for all the kind birthday whiches….I mean wishes. Oh crap, I’m drnk. Later! PS. A big thank to my Omaha peeps too! Y’all are the best! Good times! Can’t wait to get back to Big D for more fun!!!! Whoop Whoop!

Ahh! My cake from the GM lounge at Harrah’s. Now please excuse me while I stick my face in it.

All  in all, I think Barry had a great birthday and we sure had fun  helping him celebrate!

Going Back

Guess who returned to the Annex today?

Yes, this time the answer is me! I decided to work from there today so that I could join the gang for lunch at John’s and because I wanted to see the mass of hoses for myself. Turns out, they actually fixed all the leaks this week! Can you believe it? There is not one tarp tile, hose or drip to be found (except for some of the mall walkers). The only evidence that there was ever an issue are the ladders left standing against the wall.

We ventured down to John’s early because we’ve discovered that Scooter eats there every day around 11 a.m. Sure enough, just as we got off the escalator (which doesn’t work so walked down it instead of riding), we  heard the familiar “whirrrrrrr” of his scooter behind us. We let him go ahead and instead of going to the counter to order, he went to a table. The Brit told John that he could help Scooter first and he said, “It’s ok, he’s my brother so I can feed him whenever.” We don’t really know if Scooter is actually his brother or if he was joking. They don’t really look alike and Scooter doesn’t have a Greek accent. But perhaps he’s a step-brother or adopted or something? Who knows. We did see John bring him his plate and then proceed to pour obscene amounts of ketchup over it for him. Regardless of the nature of their relationship, it’s obvious John has a fondness for Scooter and takes care of him.

Over lunch, Barry told us all kinds of stories about his family. To get the right frame of mind, think “Gone with the Wind” meets “Dallas”. It’s basically an old wealthy Southern family who owns much of their small town and has a crazy aunt/sister/daughter. In this case, the crazy one is Barry’s great-aunt, Margie Bell (again, an alias).

Here are some of the stories he told us about her:

  • One day a police officer pulled over a young man in front of her house. He had his lights on and was writing the kid a ticket. Margie Bell could see them from her 2nd story window and yelled out, “Turn those lights off!” The officer looked up, rolled his eyes (she was pretty well known by everyone in town) and ignored her. So, a few minutes later, she opened the double doors to her balcony, said, “I told you to turn those lights off!” and proceeded to shoot them out with her gun. She was promptly arrested. But, she made it up to the city by buying them a new fire truck.
  • A friend of hers died and Margie Bell wanted to go to the funeral home to visit her at 2 a.m. She called over and the funeral director said no, he would see her in the morning. She insisted but he still said no. So, she got in her car (a Lincoln  Mark VII) and proceeded to drive to the funeral home and right through the front doors, taking down the whole front facade. She was again arrested and made it up to the director by paying for his new building front and paving the cemetery out back.
  • She never leaves the house without a bottle of wine, a gun and five thousand dollars.

There was another story he told us about his grandmother. She was married 5 times (the first and 5th husband were the same man). Well the 3rd husband was a doctor and to help with some of her headaches, he kept giving her more and more medication. At one point, she was so doped up that she started hallucinating! Barry (who was a kid at the time) and his step-grandfather had to carry her upstairs to bed. Barry was carrying her feet and the Doc had her shoulders. She was hallucinating so bad that she thought Barry was a pig walking on his hind legs and her husband was a piece of paper. She even reached back to try and wrinkle him! Can you believe it?

I tell you the stories just get better and better. Barry is going to find out a few more while at home this weekend and share them with us when he gets back. Can’t wait!

 

That’s all for this week! Thanks for tuning in and see you next week for another edition of….

the-ocp-button

If you liked this, you might also like:

The OCp: The Exchange

The OCp: Winter Woes

The OCp: From A to Zamboni

The OCp: The Exchange

This week had a few themes to it: stress, cold, cookies, stress, cold, melting, stress, cold, drips, and stress. Oh, and I forgot to mention it was cold.

For the purposes of this blog, I’ll spare you the details of the stress and cold and talk about the other things. They’re more interesting anyway.

Cookie Exchange

There are pros and cons to being a consultant. On the plus side, I don’t have to worry about the politics that occur at my client site. I can go about my work and leave the company issues to the others. But, on the other hand, sometimes I get excluded from company events.

On Monday, the department organized a “cookie and cocoa” hour for it’s employees.  Basically, it was a chance to get away from work, socialize with co-workers, and get stuffed with lots of sugar so that everyone was all the more hyper upon returning to their desks. And would then have a big sugar crash thereby guaranteeing no work would get done.

I wasn’t invited.

Mid-way through the morning I got an Instant Message from one of my co-workers (RG) who asked me if I was going to the cookie hour.

“Um, what cookie hour?” 

“Oh. Oops, you must not be invited. Sorry!”

At this point it was like, ok, you’ve already spilled the beans, now just tell me what ‘cookie hour’ is. I mean, it seemed secretive so I was intrigued. Plus, it involved cookies. Um, hello! She explained it to me and said she had a conflicting meeting and couldn’t attend. She had pinged me to see if I’d snag a cookie for her. Well, obviously I couldn’t do that so she went in search of someone else who could. I told her to have that person sneak a cookie for me while they were at it!

The day went on and I pretty much forgot about the impending events. Then 2:00 p.m. came, which is the International Hour of Cookie, and people started to wander over to the conference room where this magical event was to occur. One of them (AM) told me to come along but when I reminded her I wasn’t invited, she laughed and said, “Whatever, I’m gonna get you a cookie!”

Sweet, so if the first person that RG found forgot to get me one, then AM could. Either way, I was getting a cookie!

Everyone headed over and I noticed that my cube mate (KC) hadn’t gone yet. I asked him about it and he said he’d forgotten, then asked why I wasn’t there.

“I wasn’t invited.” 

Instead of offering to get me a cookie, like everyone else had, he asked who was going to do it. I told him that 2 people had offered. That’s when he called me the Puppet Master and accused me of orchestrating this whole thing just to get a stock pile of cookies. I’m not saying he was right. But I’m not saying he was wrong either.

He took off and I was left to work alone. A few minutes later he came back with 2 cookies, one for him and one for me. He also told me that he had announced to the group that he was getting a cookie for me and no one else needed to. Guess he wanted to make sure justice prevailed and I only got 1 cookie like everyone else.

Cookie #1. cookies

A few minutes later, I heard someone come up behind me and then saw a paper plate with a cookie on it slide on to my desk. I looked up and one of the other guys (BE) had grabbed one for me. Ha ha! Score!

Cookie #2.

I casually turned and showed KC my little gift and he threw his arms up and fake-yelled, “WHAT!? I can’t believe it!” To which I replied by putting on my best Dr. Evil face and cackling, “MUHAHAHAHAHA!”

About 30 minutes went by and then I heard more footsteps behind me. In slides 2 plates of cookies – one chocolate chip and one monster cookie. It was RG! She had snagged 2 cookies and wanted to know which one I would prefer. Since I had already eaten 2 chocolate chip cookies, I opted for the monster one.

Cookie #3.

I giggled uncontrollably to myself. KC was on a call so I waited. As soon as he hung up, I turned and said, “Hey, KC, I think I’ll have another cookie.” He saw the 3rd cookies and his eyes grew about 5 sizes. He pretended to throw his computer across the room and slammed his hands down on his desk. “Are you kidding me?!? You really are the Puppet Master!!! Argh!”

Oh how sweet it is!

Desk Exchange

Two weeks ago I told you how Barry was “asked” to find a new place to sit when he comes over to OCP. Basically he was told to reserve a Quiet Work Space (QWS) because, “his kind wasn’t welcome ‘round these parts”. So on Tuesday, when Barry and Bubbles came to OCP to work, they each reserved a QWS. No harm, no foul.

Or so we thought.

We all went out for lunch and then had to hurry  back so I could get to a noon meeting. When I walked out of the meeting at 12:30pm, an admin was waiting for me. She said Barry had been spotted in the building and wanted to know where he was sitting because he had been told he must reserve a QWS if he wanted to work from here. She had personally gone around and asked all the other admins if they had reserved a QWS for him and none of them had.  I told her that he was in a QWS (and we proceeded to walk by the very room he was sitting in while I was telling her this) and Bubbles had reserved it for him (cuz she’s smart and stuff). She said that was OK but he wasn’t to sit at an empty desk because she had received complaints about him being loud on the phone. I had to balk at that because I sat next to him for 2 months and never got bothered by him being on the phone. I rather enjoyed it actually. Hearing that sweet Southern charm being oozed over the phone lines to unsuspecting business stakeholders the world over brightened my day on many occassions. But apparently others didn’t find it so charming.

Guess next week he’ll just have to work from the parking lot. Wonder if the WIFI reaches out there?

Water Exchange

Well, the saga of the leaking roof at the Annex continues. For those of you keeping score at home, it’s now been a full month since the leaking started. At first, it was just 2 drips above The Brit’s desk. Last week we saw that there were a few more and facilities was starting to put up tarps with hoses coming out of them. This week, it got even worse.

I haven’t personally been to The Annex in weeks so I’m getting all my information from Bubbles and The Brit (Hey, that would make a really cool band name! Although, we’ve already decided that if we form a band, it would be called Snotty Tissues. Don’t ask). 

Bubbles and The Brit came in today to find the 2 open holes in the ceiling over The Brit’s desk had been fixed. And there was much joy and celebrating. One of the tiles had been replaced with a tarp/hose combo deal (for a limited time only! Or maybe not). And this was not your ordinary tarp/hose – it was one with a double hose!

Two! Two! Two hoses in one!

double hose

double hose2

 

Isn’t that awesome!

So the day went on and all of a sudden, Bubbles started hearing a “ping….ping….ping”. She asked the Brit if she heard it. “Ping….ping….ping”  OMG, the drip was back! Then they heard this, “Ping….ping…plunk. Ping….ping….plunk.”

There was a new leak!!

They called Facilities who came in again to investigate. Pretty soon, everyone in the office started hearing more pings and plunks and plops and began discovering more and more drips! It got so bad at one point, that they had to clean out the document storage room and cover everything with tarps to protect it!

By the end of the day, there were hoses coming down every which way.

hoses5 

Before leaving for the day, The Brit moved her keyboard and docking station under her cabinet to try and protect them. When she did, she noticed a new stain on her desk, coming from under her monitor. She moved the monitor to find a big puddle!

monitor puddle

Ok, that is bad when you have your electronic equipment standing in water.

Apparently the cause of all the new drips was due to the change in weather. Today it got up in to the 40’s and so all the snow and ice on the roof of the building started to melt. It’s a flat roof so the water has no where to go. And since the building is 40+ years old and not well taken care of, there are plenty of holes for the water to come through. I’m almost afraid to see what the place will look like come Monday, after a weekend of warmer temps!

Other Exchanges

A few other fun tidbits before we leave you tonight…

…Scooter was spotted having lunch at John’s again and as he was leaving, John called out to him, “Bye Davey!” Yes, that’s right, Scooter has a name and it’s Davey!

…As The Brit was leaving, she heard some voices coming from the lower level of The Mall. It sounded like children down there and she heard someone saying things like,  “Now stretch and there we go. Good!” We think it was some kind of weird children’s aerobics. Maybe they are part of the church that lives in the theatre. Or is it a cult? Or is it Jane Fonda? I guess we’ll never know.

Thanks for tuning in! Come back next week for another edition of…

the-ocp-button

 

If you liked this, you might also like:

The OCp: Winter Woes

The OCp: From A to Zamboni

The OCp: The Premiere

The OCp: Winter Woes

Welcome to another edition of The OCp! This week was all about the weather. Snow, cold, ice, water, and all that comes with it!

Monday:

The week started off with the threat of horrible weather. Monday itself wasn’t so bad in the morning but began to turn as the day went on. Mist and rain were coming down and when this happens in subzero temperatures, it tends to freeze. See how smart I am? Getting to work wasn’t too bad, it was getting in to the building that was the problem. I stepped out of my car and almost landed flat on my bootie. Guess it wasn’t in the budget to spread sand over the parking lot. I slowly started to make my way across the icy lot and in to the building. I got about half way when I noticed all the cars had their windshield wipers pulled up. I started to wonder if that was some sort of weird cult thing when I realized they were probably doing that because of the snow forecasted to come. And it seemed like a darn good idea. So I turned around and made the icy walk back to my car. Only, when I got there I discovered that my windshield wipers aren’t made to pull up like that. They are built so that it’s impossible to pull them out and have them “stand up.” Swell. Not only would my wipers be buried in snow when I came out later, but I would be the uncool kid who couldn’t pull up their wipers. And who wants to be known as “that girl?” Still, there was nothing I could do about it so I turned around once again and slip-slided my way in to the building.

Once inside and unpacked at my desk, I thought, you know what would brighten up my morning? Some fresh flowers. But where can I find fresh flowers in the office in the middle of winter? A ha! Why, the bathroom of course! I trotted over to the women’s restroom only to discover that the flowers had been removed. Apparently they were only there while the big wigs were in town and now that they had flown the coop, the flowers were pulled from our grasp. Sigh.

Around 3 p.m., we were all told to head home in an effort to get there before the storm blew in. I bundled up, grabbed my laptop and headed outside only to find my car glazed over with about 1/4” of ice. I started the car and blasted the defrosters then sucked it up and started scraping. And scraping. And scraping. I mean this stuff wasn’t budging and it took some creative maneuvers to make a dent in it. Oh and did I mention that it was frickin’ cold out? So cold in fact that I had to take shelter in my car every few minutes to warm my hands up. There was a gal in the car next to me doing the same thing and we had a lovely little dance going. She would scrape her car while I huddled inside trying to get feeling back in my fingers. Then, she would dive in to her car while I continued scraping mine. During the few times that there was overlap of us both being outside, we’d commiserate on just how horrid it was. Finally I got enough scraped off to see for driving and called it good. Sayonara sister!

Tuesday:

The storm came over night and by Tuesday morning we were covered in snow. I contemplated working from home but didn’t really want to because it’s hard for me to concentrate here. So I made up my mind to go in. I have an SUV and am comfortable driving in wintery conditions so my mind was made up. Then I turned on the news and they said, in not so many words, that anyone who ventured out was crazy. Hmm, so do you think maybe I shouldn’t go in? Ok, I’ll stay home.

But, it was Samson’s day for Doggie Day Camp. I didn’t want to jip him out of play time. Ok, so we’d go in.

But, was that really the best idea?

I kid you not, I debated this in my head for nearly 30 minutes. I finally woke CJ up and asked his opinion. He said to stay home. I still wasn’t sure. He said, fine go in. Ok, good idea.

And off we went!

I gave Samson a stern lecture as we headed out that he must stay seated in the back so I could concentrate. He nodded. The roads weren’t as bad as I’d anticipated and we moved along pretty well. As soon as I turned onto the street that leads to PetSmart, Samson started whining. Uh oh. Then he started “dancing.”

“Samson, sit!” He sat, for all of 2 seconds and then was right back up. “Samson, sit!”

You guys, I then said something that I swore I’d never say to my children. I looked him square in the eyes through the rearview mirror and in my most serious voice said, “Samson, if you don’t sit and stay, I’m going to turn this car around Mister!”

He looked at me and then tried to jump in the front seat.

We made it there fine and I got him checked in and settled. I headed in to work and found the parking lot like this when I arrived.

parking lot

Normally the lot is full all the way along the sides and to the back. Though, this was actually more cars than I thought there would be. It was pretty much the contractors and call center type people there so it was definitely quiet. One of the Indian contractors brought in red velvet mini cupcakes to share with everyone. Well, everyone turned out to be me and one other guy. So it was up to us to eat all this:

red velvet cupcakes

I was more than happy to oblige. I mean, they were tiny. I could eat one in a single bite. And I did. And then I had another one. And another. That’s when I started to feel sick and figured I should stop. They did make great subjects for my You Capture this week though.

Around 1:00 I decided I’d done all I could do and that the smart thing to do was head home. Samson and I made it home safe and sound. He wasn’t too happy I picked him up early though. As one of the employees said, “The ‘Mayor’ won’t be thrilled about this. He’ll think you’re doing a recall or something.”

Wednesday:

I didn’t have to debate it with myself. I was more than ready to stay home and not go out in the crappy weather again. You can read all about my day at home here.

Thursday:

Back to work we went and pretty much everyone was there. I was feeling good and ready to tackle anything that came my way and I actually did get a lot done.

Around 9 in the morning, I got this notice from The Mall Security Team:

“A car with the license plate OOOHBOY has left their car running in the North parking lot with no keys in it. If this is your car, please come out and turn it off.”

My first thought was, ok, that person has a remote car starter. But then I wondered why they’d be starting their car up after having just arrived at work. Then I thought perhaps it was the getaway car for someone planning to rob the mall. I mean, think of all the cool things they could get there! Oh boy! In the end, I figure it was probably an accident and someone had simply taken the key out and forgot to turn off the car. I mean, it’s happened to all of us at one time or another right? Or, maybe not. 

Friday:

The crazy day from hell. I literally had back to back meetings all day and a gajillion things to get done in between times. Yes, that’s right, a gajillion. So while my day was consumed with actual work, Barry, Bob and The Brit were down at The Mall doing other stuff – like investigative reporting for me!

Around 10:30 a.m., I had the following Instant Message conversation with The Brit:

  • The Brit: “At The Mall.”
  • Me: “Oh joy. Anything exciting?”
  • The  Brit: “THERE ARE HOSES IN THE CEILING. CONNECTING TO TARPS!”
  • Me: “WHAT!?!?”
  • The Brit: “THE TARPS ARE TARP CEILING TILES”
  • Me (always thinking of you, dear readers): “Pictures!!!!”
  • The Brit: “AND THE HOSES RUN INTO TRASH CANS!!”

So if you’re just catching up, basically, Facilities decided the best way to fix the leak in the Annex was to put tarp ceiling tiles in, with hoses running from them to trash cans on the floor. Which means it now looks like this down there:

tarp tile

 

hoses1

 

hoses2

Let’s take a moment to admire this handiwork, shall we? I mean, what a hose! [That’s what she said…] And I think it really livens up the office. It’s also important to note that the two hose shots above are from different leaking points than we originally found several weeks ago, which means the problem is getting worse. Come spring, when everything melts, it’ll be a regular swimming pool in there!

Oh and don’t think the irony of that last picture is lost on me. “Wow them”? Oh yes indeed!

While there, The Brit decided to investigate her old cube (which she refused to sit in today) to see how it was holding up. She found…

A lovely stain under the monitor:

monitor

Another one on the wall, behind where the trash can was that they were using for water collection:

stain on wall

(sort of hard to see but it’s there on the left side)

And the ceiling tiles were still askew (again, let’s point out that this was the original leak and yet there is no hose coming down from that tile).

cube roof

You really want to work from here now don’t you? Can’t you feel the mold and asbestos entering your lungs just by reading this?

The Brit also mentioned that the front door to the Annex, through which you need a keycard/badge to enter, is broken. “They have a little old security guard in the little “porch” area reading a book
[letting people in I suppose] and a guy on his knees making squeaking noises with something or other as he tries to fix it.”

So. many. innuendos. It’s too easy. I’ll just leave you all to come up with your own. 

When you’re at The Mall and you can’t do anything else, you go to John’s for lunch! And that’s just what the gang did.

johns

That’s Barry in the red sweater (4 shirts today?) and Bob in the striped shirt. Anyone wanna guess who the gentleman sitting at the table to their left is?

Wait for it…

Wait for it…

Yep, that’s SCOOTER!!

It’s the perfect way to end the day, don’t you think?

Thanks for tuning in! Come back next week for another edition of…

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If you liked this, you might also like:

The OCp: From A to Zamboni

The OCp: The Premiere

Annexed: The Finale

The OCp: From A to Zamboni

If any of you are going in to Annexed withdrawals (Joe), never fear! Annexed will be making regular appearances within The OCp.  “But I thought you weren’t working down at The Mall anymore Sarah?” Well, I’m not. But Barry and Bubbles are (at least a couple of days a week) and they act as my eyes and ears on the ground, providing me updates and snapshots.

So let’s see.

First of all, the ongoing saga of the ceiling leaks at The Mall continues. If you’re tracking, it’s been 2 weeks now that the ceiling has leaked and still not been fixed. And the same garbage cans are still there catching the drips.

(photo courtesy of Bubbles)

Ew. But there was a bit of progress – 3 facilities guys were spotted staring up in to the caverns of the ceiling. They didn’t do anything about it but at least they made an appearance.

Also, remember the flowers that were put in our bathrooms here at OCP last week? Well The Mall decided to emulate us and do the same thing. Bubbles found flowers there on Monday morning.

(photo courtesy of Bubbles)

That bathroom needs more than a bouquet of flowers to help it along, but every little bit helps I guess!

So I haven’t talked much about the mall itself in a while. Scooter has kept a low profile and we haven’t made a visit to John’s lately. But there was a little bit of action this week.

We had a Zamboni sighting. Yes, that’s right, a Zamboni. Well, sort of. Apparently there was a guy out there buffing up the floors (wonder if that’s where my quarter disappeared to).

Now over to an on the ground report from Bubbles:

  • Bubbles: Some Annexed tidbits – I was out in the mall an hour ago and there was a guy polishing/cleaning/buffing the floors with one of those huge polishers/cleaners/buffers – the one that looks like a Zamboni.
  • Me: I find it interesting that we’ve been down there for 4 months and we’re just now spotting this Zamboni thing. Is it any relation to Big Foot? Any pics?
  • Bubbles: Damn – I didn’t get a pic! I blew it!!
  • Me: No worries, not everyone can be as good as me.
  • Bubbles: True, you’re the master and I only hope to one day be as good as you at taking random subtle pictures around the office. Anyway, the Zamboni dude was a young kid and he had on big baggy black pants and a black sweatshirt. He may or may not have worn headphones. I was waiting for some kind of baggy pant/Zamboni incident.
  • Me: Oh yeah, that would not have been good.
  • Bubbles: My other thought when seeing the Zamboni was, “Really? Like that is going to help!”
  • Me: True dat. You can put lipstick on a pig but it’s still a pig…

Thank you Bubbles for that report!


Back to OCP…yesterday our little group (Bob, Bubbles, Barry, The Brit and me) decided to go out for lunch. Wow, I just noticed that we all have “B” nicknames. Weird. Wonder what that means? Is there something about the letter “B” that describes me as a person? Or maybe it’s just that I’m not very creative. Or perhaps I liek alliteration. Anyway, we headed over to Whole Foods for some grub. While sitting in the cafe eating, The Brit looked over at their Lifestyle Center (a big kitchen area surrounded by glass walls) and asked what it was for. Bob kindly explained that it was a place where they lock people up for a week to observe their behavior patterns. The Brit’s response?  “Well then they’d see me poop a lot.”

I literally almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard.

We got back from lunch and each went to our separate areas. Unlike The Mall, at OCP none of us sit together. Which is probably good for productivity but bad on the fun scale. Since Barry and Bubbles don’t have assigned desks here, they sort of just “squat” at an open desk. It hadn’t been a problem until yesterday, when Barry got this email:

Hi [Barry],

  Just wanted to let you know that the equipment you are using (monitor and docking station) is going to be pulled tonight or tomorrow morning by site support from the desk you are using today…If you need space at OCP, please let me know and I will be happy to reserve something for you. All the empty desks on 3rd floor have now been spoken for and are assigned to owners or will be used soon. Please reserve space ahead of time if you want to work from this location for the day.

Or, in other words, “You’re not welcome here Southerner so take your grits and go!”

Then, about 3 hours later, one of the Directors stopped by and told him he was “wreaking havoc” by sitting in that desk.

Can you feel the love?

Barry thought that perhaps today he’d just work from the dumpster outside but I told him he could only do that if he reserved it first.


Speaking of desks, I found some suspicious activity when I saw mine this morning . I walked in to find my stuff all askew – my keyboard was pushed back and kind of set topsy-turvy on my laptop, a poster on my wall was crooked, my phone was turned and my pretty little Gabby Gekko was removed from her bed.

(she normally stays in the box)

My first thought was that Bob was messing with me. But then one by one, as more people arrived, we discovered their stuff had been jacked with too. One guy had a card on his shelf turned around. Someone else had napkins tossed across her desk and over the keyboard. Bob claims to have nothing to do with it so who is responsible?

Best guess? All our stuff had come alive over night (not unlike “Night at the Museum”) and wasn’t able to get back to starting position before the lights came on this morning. Or else it was the overnight cleaning crew. Apparently they get mad when you don’t leave your desk and surrounding area spick-and-span and feel they have the right to move your stuff around.

Um, really?

Hey, I get it, they don’t have the most glamorous job. And I know they probably get frustrated when we leave popcorn kernels on the floor or track mud in from outside. But you know what? It’s part of their job to clean the office. It’s not like we do it on purpose. “Hey guys – let’s leave a big pile of poo over here on the floor just to tick them off!” We try to leave our area as neat as possible but crumbs get spilled and dirt gets tracked in. That doesn’t give you the right to riffle through our belongings and throw it around.

Now put fresh flowers in the bathroom and leave my stuff alone!

Thanks for tuning in and be sure to come back next week for more from The OCp!

If you liked this, you might also like:

The OCp: The Premiere

Annexed: What a Drip

Annexed: Head to Head