Fat Talk

When I got married, I wore a size 6. I was 5’7″ and 125 pounds.

I thought I was fat.

Well, ok, maybe not truly “fat” but I certainly wasn’t happy with my body.

I look back at old pictures of myself and shake my head.

What would young Sarah have thought of me today, wearing a size 12-14 (depending on the item), a size Large and weighing in at 154 pounds?

I throw all these numbers out there to show that as women we are almost never happy with our appearance. I admit that I am not thrilled with how I look today. I would like to shed about 14 lbs. to get back to the 140 that I was pre-Cora. If I could shed even more, that would be a bonus. I recognize that I will never be a size 6 and 125 lbs. again. After having 2 babies my body just can’t bounce back to that.

And it’s ok.

Society wants us to think that we have to be a certain size/shape to be pretty. Admittedly I have bought in to that over the years, thinking I was not worthy because I had a muffin top or extra junk in the trunk. I have looked at myself in the mirror and been disgusted with what I saw, thinking horrible things about myself.

That kind of negative self-talk has got to stop.

Would I say those things to a friend? Absolutely not. I look around at the women in my life and think of those who strike me as beautiful. They are not all a size 2 with 6 pack abs and perfectly defined arms and legs. They are beautiful because of who they are on the inside – their personalities. That in turn makes their outsides beautiful too.

Why don’t I look at myself the same way?

I have always been careful about what I say in front of Isabella. I make a point to not only complement her looks but also her intelligence, sense of humor and loving heart. In front of her I have never used the word “fat” to describe myself or anyone else, nor have I berated how I look. Believe me, that is hard on some days, especially right after Cora was born and I was a bit down with how I was looking and feeling. I know she will reach a point in her life where she starts to put herself down, or heaven forbid someone else does it, but I don’t want to be an influencer of that.

In that vein, I think it’s high time that women everywhere stop putting ourselves down and instead embrace who we are and how we look. No more fat talk!

Let me begin…

I love my eyes.

One thing that people always notice about my girls is that they have big beautiful blue eyes.

They get the rich color from their dad but the shape from me. I hadn’t realized that until someone pointed it out to me recently. My eyes are beautiful too!

I have always had nice legs. I remember as a kid that my dad would complement my mom’s legs a lot, saying how shapely they were. That led me to pay attention to my own gams and have been confident in showing them off. They are long, lean and strong, which I love.

Brunettes are where it’s at! They say blondes have more fun but I love being a natural brunette. I have never wanted to be anything else. Sure I’ve played with highlights over the years but have always kept a dark rich base. I think it’s exotic and lovely.

My sense of humor. I love to make people laugh. I like to think I’m fairly witty about it too.

My ability to accept all people. I avoid talking religion and politics on this blog, or in general conversation, because as we all know, they are touchy subjects. But I will say this: one of my main problems with certain religions and political parties is when they don’t accept anyone and everyone as being equal. I have always been inclusive of everyone (from the grade school playground to buying black Cabbage Patch dolls to go along with my other white dolls). To this day I have friends who are gay/straight/African American/Caucasian/Asian/Muslim/religious/atheist/etc. I love all kinds of people and am proud of my ability to do that.

My pledge is to stop saying bad things about how I look and stop comparing myself to others. I am a work in progress and I will love where I am and how I look at any given moment. I encourage every woman out there to do the same. We are all beautiful, inside and out! Let’s proclaim it to the world!