Fat Talk

Posted in Health and Weightloss by teamtradermom

When I got married, I wore a size 6. I was 5’7″ and 125 pounds.

I thought I was fat.

Well, ok, maybe not truly “fat” but I certainly wasn’t happy with my body.

I look back at old pictures of myself and shake my head.

What would young Sarah have thought of me today, wearing a size 12-14 (depending on the item), a size Large and weighing in at 154 pounds?

I throw all these numbers out there to show that as women we are almost never happy with our appearance. I admit that I am not thrilled with how I look today. I would like to shed about 14 lbs. to get back to the 140 that I was pre-Cora. If I could shed even more, that would be a bonus. I recognize that I will never be a size 6 and 125 lbs. again. After having 2 babies my body just can’t bounce back to that.

And it’s ok.

Society wants us to think that we have to be a certain size/shape to be pretty. Admittedly I have bought in to that over the years, thinking I was not worthy because I had a muffin top or extra junk in the trunk. I have looked at myself in the mirror and been disgusted with what I saw, thinking horrible things about myself.

That kind of negative self-talk has got to stop.

Would I say those things to a friend? Absolutely not. I look around at the women in my life and think of those who strike me as beautiful. They are not all a size 2 with 6 pack abs and perfectly defined arms and legs. They are beautiful because of who they are on the inside – their personalities. That in turn makes their outsides beautiful too.

Why don’t I look at myself the same way?

I have always been careful about what I say in front of Isabella. I make a point to not only complement her looks but also her intelligence, sense of humor and loving heart. In front of her I have never used the word “fat” to describe myself or anyone else, nor have I berated how I look. Believe me, that is hard on some days, especially right after Cora was born and I was a bit down with how I was looking and feeling. I know she will reach a point in her life where she starts to put herself down, or heaven forbid someone else does it, but I don’t want to be an influencer of that.

In that vein, I think it’s high time that women everywhere stop putting ourselves down and instead embrace who we are and how we look. No more fat talk!

Let me begin…

I love my eyes.

One thing that people always notice about my girls is that they have big beautiful blue eyes.

They get the rich color from their dad but the shape from me. I hadn’t realized that until someone pointed it out to me recently. My eyes are beautiful too!

I have always had nice legs. I remember as a kid that my dad would complement my mom’s legs a lot, saying how shapely they were. That led me to pay attention to my own gams and have been confident in showing them off. They are long, lean and strong, which I love.

Brunettes are where it’s at! They say blondes have more fun but I love being a natural brunette. I have never wanted to be anything else. Sure I’ve played with highlights over the years but have always kept a dark rich base. I think it’s exotic and lovely.

My sense of humor. I love to make people laugh. I like to think I’m fairly witty about it too.

My ability to accept all people. I avoid talking religion and politics on this blog, or in general conversation, because as we all know, they are touchy subjects. But I will say this: one of my main problems with certain religions and political parties is when they don’t accept anyone and everyone as being equal. I have always been inclusive of everyone (from the grade school playground to buying black Cabbage Patch dolls to go along with my other white dolls). To this day I have friends who are gay/straight/African American/Caucasian/Asian/Muslim/religious/atheist/etc. I love all kinds of people and am proud of my ability to do that.

My pledge is to stop saying bad things about how I look and stop comparing myself to others. I am a work in progress and I will love where I am and how I look at any given moment. I encourage every woman out there to do the same. We are all beautiful, inside and out! Let’s proclaim it to the world!

18Jun2013

Time Flies When You’re Up Every 2 Hours

Posted in Body A.D., CJ, Cora, Family by teamtradermom

Or “How the last 5 weeks got away from me.”

I can’t believe I haven’t posted anything in 5 weeks. Here I thought that I would be blogging at least once a week during maternity leave since I’d be home and have so much time on the computer.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Boy was I wrong!

Free time? What’s that? I definitely have less of it now than I did before. It’s so much harder to schedule and plan for things when you have an infant who eats every 2 hours. Just when you think you’ve got a few minutes to get something done, she wants a bottle or to be held or have her diaper changed.

She’s, like, so demanding…

And of course the moments when Cora is sleeping quietly and I start to think “Here’s my chance!”, her big sister wants attention. Gees kid, make your old meals would ya!

Seriously though, it has been challenging at times but we’re getting it figured out. Sure, there are 2 of us here but that doesn’t necessarily make it easier. We each have our own agenda of goals to accomplish. Sometimes they align and sometimes they don’t.

As of this week I’m back to work so we’re adjusting to a whole new routine. CJ is figuring out the intricacies of being a Stay At Home Dad to 2 little ones while I get used to sitting at a computer all day and having to think about things besides spit up and play dates.

It’s all good though and establishing this new routine will help us in the long run. Fortunately Isabella is pretty adaptable and old enough to help out.

Both girls are doing great. Cora had her 2 month check up a couple weeks ago and is up to 10 lbs. 8 oz. and 23” long. Other than a bad case of cradle cap and dry skin, doc says she’s doing great. She’s very alert now and likes to “talk” a lot.

It’s so much fun to sit with her and just “chat”. Those moments are priceless.

And when she smiles at me…fuhgeddaboudit!

In terms of my recovery back to normalcy, it seems to be taking longer than I had hoped. Sure, I’m all healed up “down there” but there are other things. My tailbone got bruised during labor and delivery and it’s still sore. Sitting all day at work has aggravated it all the more so I’m using one of Cora’s tummy time Boppy’s to sit on and provide relief. I also have to ice it a couple times a day. I tell ya, I have sat on more ice bags in the last 3 months than anyone should ever have to…

My weight is still an issue too. I haven’t lost a single pound or inch in these last 5 weeks since I posted. I’ve been working out 6x a week and watching my calories but it’s not working.

My “Before” pic – it’s a silly one but you can see my belly pretty good. Ugh. (FYI this was taken at Morrill Hall in Lincoln, NE)

So, last week I joined Weight Watchers. I had hesitated for a while because I was worried about the cost commitment but enough is enough. I know several who have done it and had success, and group support tends to work well for me anyway so I figure, why not. It’s still too early to have results but I’m hopeful this program will be what I need to drop these pesky 20 pounds.

Also, we are officially done having kids. CJ had a vasectomy last week. We’re both getting too old to go through this all over again. We’ve been so blessed to have two beautiful, HEALTHY, girls and I’m very content with that. So instead of going on birth control for years to come or not using anything and risking a pregnancy, we went this route. CJ is feeling pretty good, with occasional soreness.

That’s about it from the Team Trader camp!

8May2013

Life A.D.–Month 1

Posted in Body A.D., Cora, Family by teamtradermom

It’s hard to believe that a whole month has gone by. Where does the time go?

A lot can happen in 4 weeks.

Babies get bigger and Mommies get smaller.

One of those is true and the other is a big fat lie. Can you guess which is which?

Yeah.

Funny thing is, I feel smaller but the scale says otherwise. Here’s how I looked just one week after delivery, to refresh your memory.

I think the belly has shrunk down a little bit, but not enough for my liking. Then again, as everyone says, it took 9 months to put it on, it’ll take 9 months for it to come off.

It doesn’t help my cause that I can’t exercise yet. Things are still sore “down there” (though getting better) and it’s another 2 weeks before I see the doctor and (hopefully) get the all clear.

In the meantime, I do what I can. I do my nightly pushups and ab work. I’ve added in some leg moves that can be done on the floor. I think once I can add in some cardio, I’ll start to see some change.

I’ve also started tracking calories again, just to see about what I’m eating a day. I think I’m doing pretty good with that, making healthy choices most of the time. It’s hard but not as hard as it’s been for me in the past. I think I’m more determined this time around.

Oy do I look tired.

As I said, I’m healing up slowly but surely. That too is taking longer than I had thought it would. For the most part I feel fine and have stopped taking any kind of pain medicine. But I do start to feel it if I overdo it, by walking too much or being too active.

CJ has actually had friends come over to “baby-sit me” because I’m not very good at asking for help. At first I was embarrassed but it ended up being a good thing and I’m grateful he made me accept the help.

CJ’s sister even came in from Michigan for a week, which was awesome. Isabella has loved all the playtime and attention she’s been getting from all the visitors too!

Cora is doing great.

She’s eating more and staying awake longer throughout the day. That first week or 2 she pretty much slept ALL THE TIME – day and night. Now she has more periods of being alert, which is fun. She still wants to eat every 2 hours or so, which kind of sucks during the night. We’re hoping she starts stretching it out here soon so that we can get more sleep.

Big sister Isabella has come around to loving her little sis but is still trying to figure out how to interact with her. Isabella wants to play with her like she does her dolls, not quite understanding that Cora is a little more fragile than they are. We have to constantly remind her not to jump around her or poke at her. It’s a fine line to encourage her interaction while at the same time teaching and sometimes scolding.

But we’re all still getting used to everything and the changes that come with a new baby. I think in this next month we’ll really start to settle in and get our groove!

Check out these links!

A day in the life: baby edition | Cora’s Birth Story | Body A.D. – Week 1

16Apr2013

Body A.D.

Posted in Body A.D. by teamtradermom

My body B.C. (Before Cora), looked like this.

(Taken after completing the Warrior Dash in June 2012)

(Taken outside the Olympic Swim Trials in June 2012)

My body at the end of the pregnancy looked like this:

And now today, 1 week A.D. (After Delivery), I look like this:

Basically I look like I did at about 26 weeks pregnant.

This is totally normal. Ones bump doesn’t just go away overnight.

Which sucks.

But at least it’s shrinking. I’ve dropped 24 pounds since giving birth, which is comprised of baby, placenta, blood and other fluids from the uterus and water weight. 24 lbs in 1 week ain’t bad…but it will level off soon and I’ll have to start doing real work.

I have been paying better attention to my diet – eating more fresh produce, whole grains, and less processed stuff. I’ve also drastically limited the sweets. Not eliminated mind you, just limited. There’s a big difference. If I eliminated sweets altogether, I’d fall off the band wagon in no time. But by allowing myself some indulgences, it’s easier to make better choices all around.

I am not allowed to workout yet and it’s killing me. I am good at that for sure. Exercise has always been my strong suit when it comes to maintaining a healthy body. I most likely won’t be able to get back to full workout mode until about 5 weeks from now, with the doc’s okay. I will be very ready.

But the time to heal is important too. I put my body through a lot over the last 9 months and in particular, the last week. I am very sore and deal with pain every single day. There is a lot of recovery needed and I don’t want to shortcut that and risk more issues down the line. It’s hard for me to “take it easy” and “do nothing”. I’m a doer. But it’s not really “doing nothing” – it’s allowing my body to heal which is a very important job.

So, while I really want to drop the last 24 pounds (if not more) quickly and feel like my old self again, I know that it’s a process. After Isabella it took me a full year to get it all off. I hope that it doesn’t take as long this time but if it does, so be it. Slow and steady wins the race!

In the meantime, I shall enjoy time with my girls and practice a little patience.

Check out these other posts!

Team Trader 2.0 | There’s a Light | Update in Pictures

13Jun2012

I Am A Warrior!

Posted in CJ, Friends and Fun, Health and Weightloss by teamtradermom

CJ and I did the Warrior Dash on Saturday.

I am not kidding when I say that I had the Lita Ford song “The Warrior” stuck in my head the whole time.

I had signed us up for this race months ago – like back in March. A few couples that we know were doing it so I thought, hey, why not? CJ and I are active and in pretty good shape. We can totally do that too.

Then as the months approached I started to have worries and doubts.

For one, I am not a runner. I work out a lot but for some reason do not have a body built for running. I’ve tried and tried over the years and it’s just not my thing. I ran a 5k race a couple years ago and hated every minute of it.

Two, I am not a water person. I can’t swim and get terrified if I’m in any body of water that goes up past my waist. In looking at the course map, 2 of the obstacles involved water.

But I was bound and determined to do the dash and complete all the obstacles. We weren’t focused on the race aspect or doing it superfast. We just wanted to finish.

And finish we did!

It turned out to be super fun, albeit tiring. Ironically enough, the obstacles were the easiest part of the whole thing.

What really got me was the walk/run in between because it was so hilly and the hills were steep. As luck would have it, I came down with a sinus infection 2 days before the race. I tried my hardest to rest and get rid of it before Saturday but no luck. So the fact that I couldn’t breathe real well hampered me a bit. I could definitely feel it in my head and lungs as I was climbing up the hills.

We both finished in about an hour.

I think I could have done it faster if I hadn’t been sick. That’s what I tell myself anyway. Next time I’ll shoot for 45 minutes.

Here’s my advice for anyone interested in doing Warrior Dash or something similar in the future:

1. Try to get as early a time as possible when you register. We were in the 2^nd heat of the day (8:30 am) which was good because a) it was the coolest part of the day and b) the course wasn’t too badly torn up. Also, we were able to get good parking.

2. Hydrate as much as possible the day before. Again, because it was a hot and humid day, you sweat a lot. It doesn’t do you any good to chug water right before either because then you get water logged. Do your drinking the day before and you should be good.

3. Train for endurance. I made the mistake of concentrating most of my training on building upper body strength. I should have put more time in to running/walking up hills and getting my legs ready for that. The upper body training did help though as I didn’t have any problems there and my arms weren’t sore at all afterwards. Next time I’ll make sure to put more time in to training my legs too.

4. If you do it in a group, make sure at least one other person is willing to go the same pace as you or else you’ll do the whole thing alone, which isn’t a bad thing it’s just good to have clear expectations going in. CJ and I agreed ahead of time to stay together which made it all the more fun.

5. Rinse off immediately after you finish, before the mud has a chance to dry. We waited a bit too long and it was hard to get all the mud off later.

Most of all – have fun!!

That about covers it! The most important thing for me was the experience and the fact that I got to share it with my husband. CJ probably could have gone on ahead of me and finished faster since I was hampered by the sinus infection but he didn’t. We stayed together and made it an experience we’ll never forget!