I need parenting advice.

Isabella refuses to cooperate when it comes time to brush her teeth. She loves to hold her toothbrush and suck the toothpaste off of it. She’ll go through the motions in her mouth, barely moving the bristles over her little chompers. But it’s not much more than that. And if I try to help, she screams, runs, wiggles and cries.

I read an article that said if your child needs a stool to see in the bathroom mirror, then they need your help brushing their teeth. *sigh* So I can’t just let her do it and call it good.

I’ve tried everything. Singing (belting out the “brusha” song from Grease), treats (if you let mommy help you, you can have an extra stuffed animal sleep with you!), threats (if you don’t cooperate I’ll take away your oobie!), teaching (look at mommy do it!), the gross factor (ooh look at those cookies in your teeth! Better get them out!), imitation (look at Elmo brush his teeth. Don’t you want to do that too?) and force (grabbing her and holding her still while I brush away). None of them have worked.

It’s getting to the point where I dread bedtime because it means a fight. I’m afraid she’ll pick up on my negative feelings about it and start hating it too. CJ hasn’t had any better luck. My mom says she’s a little angel for her but I think that’s Grandma painting a rosey picture, as grandmas do.

I don’t want her to end up with bad teeth like me. Anything that can go wrong with a mouth, I’ve had. Braces 3 times. 3 root canals. Several pulled teeth and cavities. They even wanted to do that surgery on me where they break your jaw, realign and then wire it back shut for many weeks. I said no to that one.

I don’t want my daughter to go through all that too.

So, anyone have tips or advice for me? Anything that worked magic on your kid? Am I over-reacting?

Isabella: What’s pee mommy?

Me: It’s liquid that comes out of your body when you go potty. Sometimes you pee and sometimes you poop.

Isabella: It goes in here (pointing to her diaper)

Me: Yes it does. Soon you won’t need diapers and you’ll sit on the toilet like a big girl!

Isabella: And I’ll flush it.

Me: That’s right and then wash your hands (figure it’s never too early to start teaching that lesson!)

Isabella: And then I’ll get in a red car and drive off to a meeting.

Me: To a meeting?

Isabella: Yes, to a meeting like mommy does every day.

Me: Why would you do that?

Isabella: Because I’m a big girl!

What can I say, she’s 2 going on 32. Look out corporate America!

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That seems to be where Isabella is spending most of her time lately. She also visits “MINEville” and “No Land” quite frequently.

I don’t know if it’s the terrible twos or just a toddler being a toddler or a girl being a girl. But it can be exhausting.

Here is how the majority of the conversations go around here these days:

• Me: Time to put on your pajamas!
• Isabella: No! I don’t want pajamas!
• Me: Ok well you need to wear pajamas. Now let’s take off your shirt.
• I: No! Keep it on!
• Me: You want your shirt on?
• I: No! Take if off!
• Me: <taking her shirt off>
• I: I want it on! MINE!

And so on…you get the idea. Basically, whatever we say, she says the opposite. Then if you agree with her, she changes to the opposite of what you agreed with!

The other day I asked her if her favorite word was no. She said, “I don’t want no!” So I said ok no more “no’s”. To which she replied, “MY no!”

Sigh.

Most of these Opposite World conversations involve crying and thrashing about too. I often have to stop myself from laughing at her. But come on, it’s funny to watch.

When she’s back to her old self, she’s a loving, sweet, smart, funny girl who I love to death.

Munchkin turns 2 exactly one week from today. Hard to believe that my baby has been alive on this Earth for 2 years. Because we’re moving on her birthday, there won’t be any party or extravaganza. It’ll just be the family opening gifts and eating cake. Quiet and simple. Just how I like it. Heck, I probably won’t even have time to wrap her gifts! Maybe I’ll hide them around the new house and send her on a scavenger hunt. That would be fun!

Speaking of moving, it’s time for me to go upstairs and continue packing (while watching the season premiere of Grey’s Anatomy that I DVRed last night). The movers were over today to give us an estimate and she ball parked it at 8 hours of moving time. Oi vey. Hopefully if we have everything ready and set when they arrive, we can cut that time down.

And so I leave you with this video of my sweetheart riding the turtle at the park. We’ve been going to this park for a year and this is the first time she rode that turtle. She’s pushed it before and sat on the pedal but never climbed up in it and really rocked. I am so proud of her!

(Because it was getting late, the video is kind of dark. Sorry about that! It helps to turn the lights off and watch it in the dark. Oh wait, that could be creepy. Also, in case you were wondering, at the beginning she is asking where “Chalky” is. That’s what she’s named the sidewalk chalk we took with us to the park.)

Have a great weekend!

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