On the drive home from a professional development lunch today:
“You knob stick!” to some guy who cut us off on the road.
“Oh crap I’m almost out of gas. Why does this keep happening to me?” when the gas light came on.
Finally, when a gal almost stole our primo parking spot, “Oh bloody bollocks hell!” (or something like that, I was laughing so hard I didn’t quite get all the words committed to memory).