The OCp: The Premiere

Posted in The OCp by teamtradermom

As promised, I’ve come up with a replacement for Annexed. At least, I hope it’s suitable. I’m back to working out of the West Office and although it’s not a mall, it still has it’s own quirks to report on.

So, what does “The OCp” mean? It’s short for One Corporate Place, which is what we call the West Office. It could also stand for “Only Cute People” or “Office Compatibility Pack” or ‘”Oracle Certified Professional” or “Odin’s Cunning Practice”. But it doesn’t. It stands for One Corporate Place so deal with it.

This was my full week back at OCP and it wasn’t even a full week! Monday was a holiday for the company. But, since I don’t work for that company, it wasn’t a holiday for me. Sorry MLK. Luckily I got to work from home so it was all good.

On Tuesday we returned to find all kinds of company propaganda and paraphernalia set up in the lobby. I’d show you pics but the stuff has the company name and logo smattered all over it so I can’t. Trust me, it was epic. There was a large rectangular thing that glowed green from the inside. There were big green blocks that had company tenants on them. And there were curtains added to the main conference room. Why you ask? Because the big head honcho was in town to deliver his “state of the union” speech to the associates. And it was taped. But when they tape something, it’s not Joe Schmoe standing in the back with a handheld camera. Puh-lease. No, they go all out and hire a company to come in and film. So for 2 days there was a professional camera crew down there setting up all their equipment and lighting. It was pretty impressive I have to admit. I did sneak a picture of the sound and film guys setting things up.

See what I mean? And if you look close, at the bottom you can see the glowing green rectangular thing. Ooooh….aaahhh….

Anyway, I didn’t get to attend the actual meeting because, well, I wasn’t invited, but I’m sure it was something to behold. I heard a lot of clapping and stuff so I can only assume it was quite entertaining. Perhaps there was an opening act, like a magician, to get everyone all fired up. Or perhaps a comedian?

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Ding dong
Ding dong who?
Ding dong the witch is dead!

On Wednesday, I found a lovely surprise in the bathroom. And I’m not even being sarcastic! See, at the Annex, if I would have said I’d found something in the bathroom, you’d assume it was actually something gross, like a piece of fudge.

But at OCP, it really is something nice (most of the time).

After I had done my business, I came out of the stall and approached the sink to wash my hands. When I did, I was greeted by this:

And this:

Yes, that’s right – a weather forecast for the week and fresh flowers! Well shiver me timbers, what a nice way to brighten up my hand washing experience! I could glance one way and see whether I should add on a thick sweater when getting dressed the next day or look the other way to escape into a sea of Springtime.

Yes, I took a picture of myself in the bathroom at work and the whole time I was terrified someone would walk in on me and I’d have to explain that I was shooting pictures for my blog. At which time I’d have to further explain that no, my blog is not about bathrooms but about quirky goings on at the office. And then it would get awkward and I’d run away in shame. But thankfully no one walked in so I dodged a bullet.

Also, isn’t this a much nicer bathroom than at The Annex? Well, I guess I never took any photos of the full bathroom there, but you get the idea from some of the other pics.

I mean, the OCP bathroom is warm and inviting. You actually want to go pee there. You make up excuses just to go in the bathroom and get a warm fuzzy hug from the snakeskin wallpaper. Plus someone brings in Mary Kay products to use, like their Satin Hands collection. I don’t know who brings it in but I think they’re awesome! One time, someone stole the Mary Kay stuff and the next day there was a nasty note left telling the thief that they had better bring them back or else. The products were returned the next day.

Anyway, I hear that the men’s bathroom did not have fresh flowers but instead had a bowl of Hershey’s Kisses. I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, the mammalian, purely animalistic, estrogen-filled, She-Hulk side of me is shouting “WHERE’S MY CHOCOLATE? SARAH NEEDS CHOCOLATE NOW! WITHOUT CHOCOLATE, SARAH GET ANGRY AND BREAK THINGS!” But then the OCD, germ-a-phobe side of me thinks, “Bathroom chocolates with fecal dust on them? Um, ew.”

Late Wednesday afternoon I got an email from the Annexed facilities management apologizing for the random fire alarms that were going off. OMG. Can you imagine sitting at your desk, trying to get work done and the fire alarm goes off. Over and over and over and over again. I think that would drive me flippin’ mad. They happened to be going off at the same time the company CEO was doing his song-and-dance at OCP. Can you imagine if he had chosen the mall location to make his appearance and they went through all the trouble to set up the cameras and other stuff and then the fire alarms go off in the middle of it? HA!

Finally, we come to an Indians update. Almost all of them are gone now. The one I’ve been working the most closely with leaves tomorrow so today he came over to say good-bye. We chatted for about half an hour. He really is a sweet guy but was sometimes frustrating to work with. See, he’s not only on a project with me but also on 15 other projects back home. So when he’s trying to sleep here, the guys back in India are up working and they call him for help. So he literally got an average of 3 hours sleep every night he was here. No wonder he was falling asleep in meetings and asking the same questions over and over!

Anyway, he showed me all the pictures he’s taken during his time here. I kid you not, half of the pictures were taken randomly out the window of the cab. There were photos of houses, gas stations, malls, buildings, a Walgreens, lamp posts…I think they’re just so fascinated with America, that they photograph absolutely everything they see. He had pictures of his desk too. I mean, who takes pictures of their desk at work? Of course there were pics of the snow since he’d never seen that before. He even had one of me and our team, which includes Barry and the Bostonian (who I don’t talk about much because he may or may not have ties with the Mob. But he can possibly get me Super Bowl tickets so I better be nice to him). In the pics, there is a reflection over my head that looks like a halo. Fitting, right? And then there’s a blip above Barry’s head that looks like horns. Um, no comment.

Well, that’s about it for The OCp. I hope you will find it as entertaining as Annexed. It won’t have Scooter or John or any of the other “charming” aspects of the Mall, but I’m sure you’ll grow to love it just as much. After all, you don’t love one child more than the other, you just love them in different ways.

If you liked this, you might also like:

Annexed: The Finale

Annexed: Head to Head

$#*! My British Friend Says

19Jan2011

Couch Coat

Posted in Miscellaneous by teamtradermom

“You know, I don’t say this very often but, that’s a really nice coat.”

This is what the guy at the Walgreen’s checkout counter told me as I was making my purchase at 7:30 this morning. I was wearing my Couch Coat. I figured he was just being nice.

“Oh, well thanks! I get a lot of compliments on this coat actually.”

Which I do and it always makes my day to hear a nice thing said about something I’m wearing.

“I can see why. It’s really awesome.”

Now I was starting to wonder if he a) wanted the coat so that he could wear it, b) was hitting on me or c) was angling for a tip. Sorry buddy, if you want a tip go work at the IHOP down the street.

“Thank you!”

Thinking ok, you were nice, I appreciate it, now give me my change so I can go.

“No problem. Have a great day and stay warm out there, though I’m sure that coat will keep you warm.”

Ok now he was really overdoing it. Surely no one could just be that nice. I mean, I know it’s an awesome coat but it’s not THAT awesome. He must be after something! I scurried out to the car before he could shake me down.

I drove in to work and as I was walking down the hall to my desk, a woman getting on the elevator shouts out to me, “Hey, great coat!”

Ok, so I guess it really is that great.

19Jan2011

$#*! My British Friend Says

Posted in $#*! my British Friend Says by teamtradermom

On the drive home from a professional development lunch today:

“You knob stick!” to some guy who cut us off on the road.

“Oh crap I’m almost out of gas. Why does this keep happening to me?” when the gas light came on.

Finally, when a gal almost stole our primo parking spot, “Oh bloody bollocks hell!” (or something like that, I was laughing so hard I didn’t quite get all the words committed to memory).

18Jan2011

Make it Stop!

Posted in Health and Weightloss by teamtradermom

Last night was a humdinger. I’ll preface this post by saying it involves the bathroom so if you’re grossed out by such conversation, leave now. Don’t worry, I won’t get too graphic. I know it’s kind of personal and not something people talk about, but hey, it happens to everyone so here goes.

The day started out with Samson puking. I was eating my breakfast and watching the TODAY show, not really paying attention to the world around me when I hear, “Oh Samson, really?” I turn around to see that Samson has proceeded to upchuck the entire contents of his stomach on the carpet which included all his breakfast plus the 2 treats I had given him. It was all undigested so I could easily make out each piece. We stopped him before he could eat it back up and got him outside. CJ gets squeamish around bodily fluids so I cleaned it up (though he did help me scoop it onto the dustpan and in to the garbage – yes I said scoop).

The rest of the day was fine. I worked from home because it was a holiday for my client but not for my company so it was either take PTO or work. I chose to work, but thankfully could do it from home. Anyway, I had a perfectly lovely day for the most part and was logged off by 4:00.

I was in the mood to bake so I got busy on some chocolate chip cookies, sampling the dough as I went. I mean, you can’t NOT do that. Heck, if it were up to me, I’d make a batch of cookie dough just to eat and never bake! But, I don’t do that (much). I finished up with my preparations and put the dough in the ‘fridge (baking tip: cookies have better form if you chill the dough before baking it. My dear friend Katie told me that trick and it works!). Then I set to work on dinner. We were going to have chicken parmesan. I made the breading, cut up the chicken, coated it and put it in the oven. As I was doing dishes I got a wave of cramps but it passed quickly so I didn’t think much of it. Just then Munchkin awoke from her nap so I went in to get her. As I was changing her diaper, I got another wave of cramps, a little more intense this time.

Uh oh. I know the drill. It’s just like contractions. The closer together and more intense they are, the sooner the “package” will arrive.

I finished up with Munchkin and took her in to the bedroom where CJ was folding laundry. I told him, she’s all yours man, I got a date with the bathroom. She cried when I went in the master bath and closed the door. I was all, “Honey, trust me, you do not want to be in here with what I think is coming.”

The cramps came and went. They got worse and worse. I started getting feverish. I started getting nauseous. I didn’t know which end things were going to come out of! I was having visions of fainting again and really did not want that to happen. This went on for 15 minutes! I seriously felt like I was in labor again. I tried doing La Maze breathing and it worked just as well as it did during actual labor (translation: not at all). I called out for an epidural but no one would bring it to me. So instead I squeezed the holy living bejeezus out of my hand. Maybe that’s why I was feeling light-headed…finally, the packaged deployed and things subsided.

Phew. It was over. I breathed a sign of relief and went back out to join my family.

Then the universe pointed a finger at me and laughed.

5 minutes later I was back in the bathroom. This time I brought the garbage can in with me in case I had to hurl. I was in there for another 20 minutes going through the same ordeal as before. I was calling out to Jesus, Buddha, Zeus, Thor and anyone else who could possibly help me. By the beard of Oden make this stop!! This time, there were multiple packages being deployed and they kept coming. I didn’t think a person of my size could have so much in her!

By the time it ended I was spent. I curled up on the bed in the fetal position and waited to die. Surely I was on my death-bed after experiencing something so awful. I closed my eyes, thanked God for a good life and eeked out a whispered “I love you” to my family.

Then the world went black.

I woke up 5 minutes later and realized I hadn’t died but instead took a cat nap. I crawled out of bed and went to join my family, eating toast and drinking tea while they had chicken parmesan. But I didn’t care, so long as the ordeal was over. And this time it really was.

When I got up today I weighed myself out of curiosity and am down 3 pounds. Yep, that’s right, I “delivered” 3 pounds worth of, uh, “stuff” last night. Oi vey. When I told CJ that he said, “Guess it was time for some good poopin’.” Gee, thanks honey.

On the up side, one of my New Year’s resolutions is now met! Though, I wouldn’t recommend anyone to do it this way. I would much rather exercise for 24 hours straight than go through that again.

I’m better today for the most part. Still watching what I eat but things seem to be operating normally. Not sure if I got a little stomach bug or if it was something I ate (raw cookie dough anyone?) but whatever it was, I hope it never happens again!

P.S. Samson is fine too. I think he just likes to puke sometimes – it’s a nice morning snack.

17Jan2011

I Heart the Steelers!

Posted in Friends and Fun, Miscellaneous by teamtradermom

I don’t know about you, but I’m really enjoying this football season. Not only is my team (the Steelers) doing well, but there have been some major upsets and surprises.

Some of the underdogs, ehem Chiefs, came out of no where to really kick some butt.

Last year’s Super Bowl winner got beat by a team that no one saw coming.

The two #1 seeds going in to the playoffs got beat this past weekend.

And the Steelers are still in it! Does it get any better? I don’t think so.

I haven’t always been a Steelers fan. In fact, I haven’t always loved football. Ask anyone I grew up with. I had exactly zero interest in the game, either at the college or pro levels. This surprises a lot of people given that I’m from Nebraska. You’re practically born here with a Husker pacifier in your mouth. I’m probably not a Husker fan because I didn’t grow up in a Husker household, no I was spared from the fever. We’re a Notre Dame family. Wait, what’s that sound? I think I just heard half of my Nebraska readers “tsk tsk” in disgust. Yes, you read that right. We’re (or rather my mom, dad and sister) are Notre Dame fans. I didn’t drink the kool-aid though. I just endured it.

Then I went off to a college that wasn’t UNL or even in this state and was able to get further away from the Husker Hoopla. I went to a small private school that had a Division 3 football team. The games were a fun social outing (read: drinking event) but nothing that we got super crazy over. The only sports I really cared about at Coe, when I wasn’t studying or shooting photos, were drinking and partying (and yes, those are athletic events much of the time).

My parents weren’t devoted followers of any pro teams either (though my dad watches pro football, and roots for the Broncos, he isn’t super in to it) so I wasn’t exposed to it. Heck, I don’t even remember watching any Super Bowl games until 5 years ago or so, and even then I only went for the social aspect of it (and to watch the commercials).

The turning point came when I did a 6 week assignment for Del Monte in Pittsburgh in December of 2007.

In my hotel room

I was in the heart of Steeler Nation and it was hard not to get sucked in. I was surrounded by it everywhere I went. The Del Monte office shared a parking lot with Heinz field so I saw the stadium every day.

Heinz Field

Jerome Bettis’ restaurant was downstairs from our office and we ate there for lunch several times a week. All my co-workers were huge fans and everyone would wear Steeler gear on game days. When the Steelers were featured on Monday Night Football, there would be people everywhere around the stadium with their Terrible Towels. One night I had the MNF game on in my hotel room as I did some work and the commentators were talking about how it was pouring rain outside. I thought to myself, “Yeah it’s raining here too” and then realized my “here” was the same place they were talking about on TV! I looked over and saw an image of the Pittsburgh skyline and could see my hotel. It was surreal and I instantly got hooked.

And I’ve been a fan ever since.

I bought my first t-shirt that week from the airport on my trip home. I still have it (along with a handful of others) and wear them every weekend of football season.

The 2008-2009 season was the first where I really followed them – and they won the Super Bow!. Oh man that was exciting! I thought maybe I was their good luck charm!

Then the next year came and they didn’t do so great. It’s the Super Bowl curse I tell you!

And now here we are again, heading in to the game that determines who will be the AFC champion and move on to the Super Bowl. All they have to do is beat the Jets. Ha! I say that like it will be easy. It won’t. In the past 2 weeks, the Jets have taken down the might Colts and Patriots so the Steelers will need to bring their best.

And Isabella and I will be cheering as loud as we can!!