Potato Pizza

Today I discovered a travesty that had befallen our nation. Namely, not enough people know about Potato Pizza. I was telling my dear friend Rhonda that I was making it for dinner and she said, “Hmmm that sounds weird.”

I admit that it might seem peculiar but, once you go spud, you’ll never say dud.

Ok that was lame.

Anyway, my family has been making Potato Pizza for generations. My mom taught it to me. Her mom taught it to her and so on. Not sure how far back it goes but every time you ask my mom she’ll tell you something different. At this point I think the family lore dates back to Abraham Lincoln.

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This is how my mom passed it down to me. Handwritten on a doggie themed recipe card. There wasn’t even any detail on how much of each ingredient to use. I had to figure that out and write it in the margins! How friggin’ awesome is that?

(By the way, my mom has total teacher handwriting don’t you think?)

It easy. It’s yummy. And it’s total comfort food. What’s not to like about bread, hamburger, potatoes and cheese all mixed up together? If that’s wrong then I don’t want to be right.

So, in order to right the wrongs of our society, I have decided to share this ancient family recipe with you (that goes as far back as George Washington).

Bear in mind that I’m not a cook and have never claimed to be one. But if I can make this, so can you. And I’ll even tell you the right amount for each ingredient because I’m nice like that. Nothing but love, people.

Step 1. Throw 1 TBSP of butter in a frying pan and melt it.

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Step 2. Peel 2 large potatoes, slice them thinly and throw in with the melted butter.

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OK so maybe you should peel and slice the potatoes before you melt the butter. Details, details.

Step 3. Cook the potatoes until tender but not brown. They should turn from opaque to transparent and get kind of shiny.

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Note that this step is very important! When my parents were newlyweds, my mom made this for my dad to try and impress him with her mad cooking skills. However, she neglected to cook the potatoes. The resulting pizza was less than stellar.

Step 4. Set aside the potatoes and brown 1 lb. of hamburger, along with some chopped onions, salt and pepper to taste.

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Quick aside:  that funny looking tool I’m using to cook the ground beef is the Mix n’Chop from Pampered Chef. I LOVE it! You use it to mix up and chop the beef (hence the name) and it gets it to those nice small crumbles. Perfect. Best $10 I ever spent in the kitchen.

Step 5. Drain the grease and then add the potatoes back in, along with 1 – 16 oz. can of tomato sauce and some parmesan cheese to taste.

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Beautiful, ain’t it?

Yes I’m using a different stirring utensil with every step. Why? Because I’ve found that the more dishes I dirty, the better the food tastes. It’s scientifically proven.

Step 6. Color with your daughter while you wait for your husband to return from the grocery store with the remaining ingredients. Oops.

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Tap your foot impatiently while you answer his myriad of text messages about various items.

Stir the meat mixture.

Do the dishes you’ve dirtied so far.

Stir the meat mixture.

Turn on Curious George.

Stir the meat mixture.

Shout “hurray!” when you hear the garage door open, then accost your husband.

Step 7. Grease a baking sheet and then roll out 1 Pillsbury refrigerated pizza dough crust on it.

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Make note because this is key: do not try and substitute any other pizza crust for this or I won’t be able to guarantee the results! CJ suggested a pre-made Boboli crust and I had to pick my jaw up off the floor. There is no messing with perfection people!

Step 8. Pour meat mixture on to the pizza dough. Spread evenly, leaving room around the edges.

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Notice that I did not leave room around the edges and it made things more difficult later. Not impossible, just difficult.

Step 9. Unroll Pillsbury refrigerated pizza dough crust #2 on top of the meat mixture. Pinch the edges together to seal it up (hence the reason for leaving the gap on the sides)

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Step 10. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes. Check it at 30 because you don’t want to overcook and dry out the crust.

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Clean up the rest of your mess while it bakes and your husband runs to the bank with your daughter.

Ignore the doorbell when it rings because you’re already in your grubbies and don’t want to frighten anyone by answering the door.

Catch up on a DVRed show and feel good for accomplishing something.

Welcome your family back home.

Ding! Timer went off! Time to take this masterpiece out of the oven!

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Isn’t she lovely?

Cut and serve. But when serving, do it like this:

Cut a piece and immediately spread butter on the top crust. It will get all melty and slide around everywhere.

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Perfect.

Then cut a slice or two of your favorite cheese and slip it under the top crust, setting her down right on the meaty middle. Let it melt before eating.

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Mmmm boy. I tell ya what, this is some good stuff. Trust me on this people. I know food and I love food. CJ was weirded out by it when he first heard tale of the recipe handed down from the pilgrims but he was sold after his first bite.

I don’t make this very often and I have no idea why because it’s so easy. Maybe because I never have pizza crusts on hand. Or I’m lazy. Or fail to plan ahead. Whatever the reason, I should dismiss it and get this back in the regular rotation. It makes a lot and tastes amazing leftover too (which must be true if I’m saying it because I hate leftovers).

And there you have it! Potato Pizza from my family to yours.

If you liked this, you might also like:

Hello Luvva

That’s the Way the Cookie Crumbles

Don’t Call me Late for Dinner

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