My day starts when mom comes in to wake me. Some mornings I am up and ready to go. Other days I need some loving and lie back hoping mom will rub my tummy. She always complies.

As soon as I get out of the kennel, I take a moment for a long stretch and then shake my body to get the sleep off. I try to do that right outside the little hairless one’s room and make as much noise as possible.

Now it’s hunting time! I have to find dad right away! I cannot do anything else until I find him! Most of the time he’s in the Alpha’s room, getting out of bed. But sometimes he’s not! I must find him! He might have food! When I do, I rub my nose and body against his legs until he pets me. If he ignores me, I jump up on him. Sometimes I aim for his daddy parts to drive my point home. Hey, they took away my daddy parts so it’s only fair for me to punish his once in a while.

Then it’s time to go outside. Mom opens the door and lets me out. I will only go out in the following conditions:

1. It must be light out.
2. It must be dry.

If it is anything different, I will not go. I can hold it. I’m a big dog.

When I come in, it’s time to help mom get ready for work. I go in and sit in the bathroom like a good boy while she gets ready to shower. Before she steps in the shower, she gives me a treat! Oh boy! A treat! I will do anything for a treat! When mom is finished with her shower, I go lay in the bedroom while she gets ready. Every so often she throws me a treat and tells me how cute I am. Well, duh. I mean, have you seen me? But hey, it’s a treat!! I love treats!

Now it’s time for breakfast. Mom feeds me and then gets her own food. I scarf mine down as fast as possible so that I can then go over and get some of mom’s. Then it’s time for mom to brush her teeth. I love when mom brushes her teeth because then I get more treats! I love treats!!

Mom leaves and it’s me, dad and the little hairless one for the rest of the day. I spend most of the day sleeping and prowling for food. When dad gives the little one snacks, I try to snatch them from her hand. Isn’t that a fun game! I also love when the little one eats because she drops a lot of food on the floor. Score! My head is at the perfect height to dig my nose right in her crotch while she’s in the tall chair and get out any crumbs. Hey, I need food! I’m practically starving here!

I like to look out the window and keep an eye on the neighborhood. I have a few friends that walk by on occasion and when I see them I run from the front window to the back door and jump and bark. I have to see my friend! Hurry! Life as we know it will end if I don’t see my friend!!!

When mom comes home, I run to greet her. She might have food! If she doesn’t, I go about my business. If she does, I dig my nose in her bags until I find it. She really likes that.

My evenings revolve around food. The family has dinner and I repeat my process of stalking the little one in case she drops something. I also beg from mom and dad. Dad gets really annoyed with me but mom gives me stuff. It’s totally worth it if I get food!

When I’m bored, I randomly grab one of the little one’s toys and run around the house with it. I usually do this when dad is gone. Mom yells at me but I think it’s a fun game. Mom puts me in my kennel when I do this but i don’t mind. I like my kennel.

Most nights they give the little one a bath. I hate baths. I hate water. When I hear the water running I go and hide. No way they’re going to pull me in to that tub. Unless they  have food. In that case I might reconsider.

Once the little one goes to bed, it’s all about me once again. Some nights I get a Kong. Sometimes I get to go for a car ride with dad to the store.  Most nights I get to lay on the couch next to mom. She snuggles with me and pets me. I pretend I don’t like it but secretly I do.

Then it’s time for bed. I sleep in my kennel. It’s my safe place. One time mom let me stay out while dad was away and I didn’t like it. I went to my kennel anyway.

There you go! That’s my day! Tomorrow we start all over. Hopefully I will score some more food. I love food!