If any of you are going in to Annexed withdrawals (Joe), never fear! Annexed will be making regular appearances within The OCp.  “But I thought you weren’t working down at The Mall anymore Sarah?” Well, I’m not. But Barry and Bubbles are (at least a couple of days a week) and they act as my eyes and ears on the ground, providing me updates and snapshots.

So let’s see.

First of all, the ongoing saga of the ceiling leaks at The Mall continues. If you’re tracking, it’s been 2 weeks now that the ceiling has leaked and still not been fixed. And the same garbage cans are still there catching the drips.

(photo courtesy of Bubbles)

Ew. But there was a bit of progress – 3 facilities guys were spotted staring up in to the caverns of the ceiling. They didn’t do anything about it but at least they made an appearance.

Also, remember the flowers that were put in our bathrooms here at OCP last week? Well The Mall decided to emulate us and do the same thing. Bubbles found flowers there on Monday morning.

(photo courtesy of Bubbles)

That bathroom needs more than a bouquet of flowers to help it along, but every little bit helps I guess!

So I haven’t talked much about the mall itself in a while. Scooter has kept a low profile and we haven’t made a visit to John’s lately. But there was a little bit of action this week.

We had a Zamboni sighting. Yes, that’s right, a Zamboni. Well, sort of. Apparently there was a guy out there buffing up the floors (wonder if that’s where my quarter disappeared to).

Now over to an on the ground report from Bubbles:

• Bubbles: Some Annexed tidbits – I was out in the mall an hour ago and there was a guy polishing/cleaning/buffing the floors with one of those huge polishers/cleaners/buffers – the one that looks like a Zamboni.
• Me: I find it interesting that we’ve been down there for 4 months and we’re just now spotting this Zamboni thing. Is it any relation to Big Foot? Any pics?
• Bubbles: Damn – I didn’t get a pic! I blew it!!
• Me: No worries, not everyone can be as good as me.
• Bubbles: True, you’re the master and I only hope to one day be as good as you at taking random subtle pictures around the office. Anyway, the Zamboni dude was a young kid and he had on big baggy black pants and a black sweatshirt. He may or may not have worn headphones. I was waiting for some kind of baggy pant/Zamboni incident.
• Me: Oh yeah, that would not have been good.
• Bubbles: My other thought when seeing the Zamboni was, “Really? Like that is going to help!”
• Me: True dat. You can put lipstick on a pig but it’s still a pig…

Thank you Bubbles for that report!

Back to OCP…yesterday our little group (Bob, Bubbles, Barry, The Brit and me) decided to go out for lunch. Wow, I just noticed that we all have “B” nicknames. Weird. Wonder what that means? Is there something about the letter “B” that describes me as a person? Or maybe it’s just that I’m not very creative. Or perhaps I liek alliteration. Anyway, we headed over to Whole Foods for some grub. While sitting in the cafe eating, The Brit looked over at their Lifestyle Center (a big kitchen area surrounded by glass walls) and asked what it was for. Bob kindly explained that it was a place where they lock people up for a week to observe their behavior patterns. The Brit’s response?  “Well then they’d see me poop a lot.”

I literally almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard.

We got back from lunch and each went to our separate areas. Unlike The Mall, at OCP none of us sit together. Which is probably good for productivity but bad on the fun scale. Since Barry and Bubbles don’t have assigned desks here, they sort of just “squat” at an open desk. It hadn’t been a problem until yesterday, when Barry got this email:

Hi [Barry],

  Just wanted to let you know that the equipment you are using (monitor and docking station) is going to be pulled tonight or tomorrow morning by site support from the desk you are using today…If you need space at OCP, please let me know and I will be happy to reserve something for you. All the empty desks on 3rd floor have now been spoken for and are assigned to owners or will be used soon. Please reserve space ahead of time if you want to work from this location for the day.

Or, in other words, “You’re not welcome here Southerner so take your grits and go!”

Then, about 3 hours later, one of the Directors stopped by and told him he was “wreaking havoc” by sitting in that desk.

Can you feel the love?

Barry thought that perhaps today he’d just work from the dumpster outside but I told him he could only do that if he reserved it first.

Speaking of desks, I found some suspicious activity when I saw mine this morning . I walked in to find my stuff all askew – my keyboard was pushed back and kind of set topsy-turvy on my laptop, a poster on my wall was crooked, my phone was turned and my pretty little Gabby Gekko was removed from her bed.

(she normally stays in the box)

My first thought was that Bob was messing with me. But then one by one, as more people arrived, we discovered their stuff had been jacked with too. One guy had a card on his shelf turned around. Someone else had napkins tossed across her desk and over the keyboard. Bob claims to have nothing to do with it so who is responsible?

Best guess? All our stuff had come alive over night (not unlike “Night at the Museum”) and wasn’t able to get back to starting position before the lights came on this morning. Or else it was the overnight cleaning crew. Apparently they get mad when you don’t leave your desk and surrounding area spick-and-span and feel they have the right to move your stuff around.

Um, really?

Hey, I get it, they don’t have the most glamorous job. And I know they probably get frustrated when we leave popcorn kernels on the floor or track mud in from outside. But you know what? It’s part of their job to clean the office. It’s not like we do it on purpose. “Hey guys – let’s leave a big pile of poo over here on the floor just to tick them off!” We try to leave our area as neat as possible but crumbs get spilled and dirt gets tracked in. That doesn’t give you the right to riffle through our belongings and throw it around.

Now put fresh flowers in the bathroom and leave my stuff alone!

Thanks for tuning in and be sure to come back next week for more from The OCp!

If you liked this, you might also like:

The OCp: The Premiere

Annexed: What a Drip

Annexed: Head to Head

As promised, I’ve come up with a replacement for Annexed. At least, I hope it’s suitable. I’m back to working out of the West Office and although it’s not a mall, it still has it’s own quirks to report on.

So, what does “The OCp” mean? It’s short for One Corporate Place, which is what we call the West Office. It could also stand for “Only Cute People” or “Office Compatibility Pack” or ‘”Oracle Certified Professional” or “Odin’s Cunning Practice”. But it doesn’t. It stands for One Corporate Place so deal with it.

This was my full week back at OCP and it wasn’t even a full week! Monday was a holiday for the company. But, since I don’t work for that company, it wasn’t a holiday for me. Sorry MLK. Luckily I got to work from home so it was all good.

On Tuesday we returned to find all kinds of company propaganda and paraphernalia set up in the lobby. I’d show you pics but the stuff has the company name and logo smattered all over it so I can’t. Trust me, it was epic. There was a large rectangular thing that glowed green from the inside. There were big green blocks that had company tenants on them. And there were curtains added to the main conference room. Why you ask? Because the big head honcho was in town to deliver his “state of the union” speech to the associates. And it was taped. But when they tape something, it’s not Joe Schmoe standing in the back with a handheld camera. Puh-lease. No, they go all out and hire a company to come in and film. So for 2 days there was a professional camera crew down there setting up all their equipment and lighting. It was pretty impressive I have to admit. I did sneak a picture of the sound and film guys setting things up.

See what I mean? And if you look close, at the bottom you can see the glowing green rectangular thing. Ooooh….aaahhh….

Anyway, I didn’t get to attend the actual meeting because, well, I wasn’t invited, but I’m sure it was something to behold. I heard a lot of clapping and stuff so I can only assume it was quite entertaining. Perhaps there was an opening act, like a magician, to get everyone all fired up. Or perhaps a comedian?

• Knock knock
• Who’s there?
• Ding dong
• Ding dong who?
• Ding dong the witch is dead!

On Wednesday, I found a lovely surprise in the bathroom. And I’m not even being sarcastic! See, at the Annex, if I would have said I’d found something in the bathroom,  you’d assume it was actually something gross, like a piece of fudge.

But at OCP, it really is something nice (most of the time).

After I had done my business, I came out of the stall and approached the sink to wash my hands. When I did, I was greeted by this:

And this:

Yes, that’s right – a weather forecast for the week and fresh flowers! Well shiver me timbers, what a nice way to brighten up my hand washing experience! I could glance one way and see whether I should add on a thick sweater when getting dressed the next day or look the other way to escape into a sea of Springtime.

Yes, I took a picture of myself in the bathroom at work and the whole time I was terrified someone would walk in on me and I’d have to explain that I was shooting pictures for my blog. At which time I’d have to further explain that no, my blog is not about bathrooms but about quirky goings on at the office. And then it would get awkward and I’d run away in shame. But thankfully no one walked in so I dodged a bullet.

Also, isn’t this a much nicer bathroom than at The Annex? Well, I guess I never took any photos of the full bathroom there, but you get the idea from some of the other pics.

I mean, the OCP bathroom is warm and inviting. You actually want to go pee there. You make up excuses just to go in the bathroom and get a warm fuzzy hug from the snakeskin wallpaper. Plus someone brings in Mary Kay products to use, like their Satin Hands collection. I don’t know who brings it in but I think they’re awesome! One time, someone stole the Mary Kay stuff and the next day there was a nasty note left telling the thief that they had better bring them back or else. The products were returned the next day.

Anyway, I hear that the men’s bathroom did not have fresh flowers but instead had a bowl of Hershey’s Kisses. I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, the mammalian, purely animalistic, estrogen-filled, She-Hulk side of me is shouting “WHERE’S MY CHOCOLATE? SARAH NEEDS CHOCOLATE NOW! WITHOUT CHOCOLATE, SARAH GET ANGRY AND BREAK THINGS!” But then the OCD, germ-a-phobe side of me thinks, “Bathroom chocolates with fecal dust on them? Um, ew.”

Late Wednesday afternoon I got an email from the Annexed facilities management apologizing for the random fire alarms that were going off. OMG. Can you imagine sitting at your desk, trying to get work done and the fire alarm goes off. Over and over and over and over again. I think that would drive me flippin’ mad. They happened to be going off at the same time the company CEO was doing his song-and-dance at OCP. Can you imagine if he had chosen the mall location to make his appearance and they went through all the trouble to set up the cameras and other stuff and then the fire alarms go off in the middle of it? HA! 

Finally, we come to an Indians update. Almost all of them are gone now. The one I’ve been working the most closely with leaves tomorrow so today he came over to say good-bye. We chatted for about half an hour. He really is a sweet guy but was sometimes frustrating to work with. See, he’s not only on a project with me but also on 15 other projects back home. So when he’s trying to sleep here, the guys back in India are up working and they call him for help. So he literally got an average of 3 hours sleep every night he was here. No wonder he was falling asleep in meetings and asking the same questions over and over!

Anyway, he showed me all the pictures he’s taken during his time here. I kid you not, half of the pictures were taken randomly out the window of the cab. There were photos of houses, gas stations, malls, buildings, a Walgreens, lamp posts…I think they’re just so fascinated with America, that they photograph absolutely everything they see. He had pictures of his desk too. I mean, who takes pictures of their desk at work? Of course there were pics of the snow since he’d never seen that before. He even had one of me and our team, which includes Barry and the Bostonian (who I don’t talk about much because he may or may not have ties with the Mob. But he can possibly get me Super Bowl tickets so I better be nice to him). In the pics, there is a reflection over my head that looks like a halo. Fitting, right? And then there’s a blip above Barry’s head that looks like horns. Um, no comment.

Well, that’s about it for The OCp. I hope you will find it as entertaining as Annexed. It won’t have Scooter or John or any of the other “charming” aspects of the Mall, but I’m sure you’ll grow to love it just as much. After all, you don’t love one child more than the other, you just love them in different ways. 

If you liked this, you might also like:

Annexed: The Finale

Annexed: Head to Head

$#*! My British Friend Says