It’s been a long week. Stress from work coupled with the big project at home makes Sarah a tired girl. I decided yesterday that I needed a little pick-me-up. Instead of running straight to the neighborhood dive bar for a stiff drink and some old man ogling, I went shopping.

We have a local store called The Post and Nickel that sells high end designer clothes. It’s going out of business so everything in the store is discounted. There are signs all over the outside that say  “EVERYTHING MUST GO!” and “CLOSE OUT LIQUIDATION SALE!” so I thought I’d be able to snag a great deal on some designer clothes.

I thought wrong.

But before I get to that, let’s step back a minute. Yesterday was an “I’m too tired to give a damn about how I look because I just want to be comfortable” kind of day. Fortunately I have a job that lets me indulge in comfie clothes on those days so I was wearing a fleece sweatshirt, jeans and Sketchers walking shoes. I also had my hair in its natural state, which is limp and wavy.

Pretty much exactly like this (except this pic was taken at a different time):

When I left work, it was raining at a pretty good clip. Being the healthy girl that I am, I had parked in the very last row of stalls because it forced me to walk farther. That works great on a nice sunny morning but not so great on a cold rainy afternoon. By the time I got to my car, my already limp and wavy hair was now limp, curly and plastered to my head.

Hot sexy baby!

Now picture that vision of a woman walking in to a designer clothing store. The whole place seemed to come to a halt. It was like everyone just stopped and stared as if to say, “Um, like, are you lost or something? This isn’t a homeless shelter…” I remained casual and strode on in, with purpose and confidence. I was repeating mantras in my head like “I am worthy of designer clothing” and “I make more money than these snooty sales people dammit!” and “I am a “Pretty Woman” too!”.

I was looking for a watch. Mine died and I thought this would be a good chance to replace it with something cool, at a decent price. That was my mistake – expecting a decent price. Everything in there was marked down 60-70% and it was still over $100!  I did find one pair of jeans for $39.99 but they didn’t fit. No watches that I could afford either.

So now I felt like a fat, drenched, poor little mouse. And I quietly slinked out of the building, hoping no one would notice and sneer.

I was still on the lookout to buy something – anything – to perk me up. A watch, a purse, some shoes…I didn’t care at this point! I looked around for a place that I don’t ever shop, as I wanted to try new things, and my eyes landed on Marshall’s. I thought hey, I’ve heard of friends getting great deals there on cool stuff, I’ll give it a go. I ventured on over and sprinted in from the rain, only this time everyone in the store looked like me so I didn’t feel too out-of-place.

I hit the shoes first. Nothing struck my fancy. You know how when you’re in one of those moods to shop yet can’t find anything you like? Yeah, that was me. Strike 1. I wandered over to the purses next.  Nothing that I liked or could afford. I was actually surprised how expensive Marshall’s was! $50 for a purse? Um, no. That probably seems cheap and reasonable to some people but to this “the cheaper the better when it comes to purses” gal, that was too much. Strike 2. After that, it was watches. However, apparently Marshall’s doesn’t carry jewelry because I wandered around the whole store and found nothing. Strike 3.

You’re out!

I gave up at that point and just went home empty-handed. I was feeling depressed and grouchy but when I got home I was welcomed with open arms and tail wags, which really, is all anyone needs anyway.

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