While changing Isabella’s diaper this morning:
“Mommy you’re heavy. Daddy’s heavy too.”
Me: what about Samson?
“He’s big enough.”
Category Archives: Family
From the Mouths of Babes
I’ve decided to start a new series highlighting some of the funny, smart, amazing and just plain weird things Isabella says to me sometimes. This will be along the lines of $#*! My British Friend Says, only the family friendly version.
Tonight, Munchkin and I were sitting on the couch reading and she looked at me and said
You make me happy Mommy!
My heart literally melted and came out my toes.
Then as we were brushing teeth, she said
Oh man! I brushed three teeth!
I hope you get as much of a kick out of her little ditties as I do!
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And This is Why We Have Roadside Assistance
Today started off pretty normal. Got up, went to work, did work stuff and then headed out for a doctor’s appointment. 45 minutes later I was back in my car. I had to make a few phone calls and instead of turning the car all the way on, I just turned it enough to roll down the windows. Though it’s hot out, there was a nice breeze and I didn’t want to waste gas. I called CJ and my mom and then it was time to head back to work.
I turned the key in the ignition and nothing. Hmm. I tried again. Still nothing. Well poop. I tried a third time and then faced facts that my battery was dead.
I called CJ wondering what I should do and he reminded me that this is why we pay for AAA. Ah ha! I knew that brilliant idea of mine way back in October would pay off! Ok so it was CJ’s idea but I wrote the check so I can take some credit.
The lady I talked to was very friendly. She asked if I needed a jump start or a tow. Well, maybe both. What if they can’t jump it? So she put on the order that I needed both and that someone would be there within 45 minutes.
Thank god for Angry Birds! I stood outside the front door of the doctor’s office and played Angry Birds for an hour, interspersed with some texting and Facebook updates. Die little green hogs die!
Finally I saw the tow truck pull up. I directed him to my vehicle and he pulled in behind it. Naturally, because this is a tow truck, it’s not exactly small and was blocking a few cars around me, one of which had a lady in it. Neither the tow truck dude nor I noticed her getting ready to back out until she came over and said in a very snotty voice, “Um, do you mind if I back out first?” Dude and I looked at each other and nodded in a look that said, “Wow, what a bitch.”
Once that was done he got his battery test kit thingie and came over. He was a young kid, probably mid-20’s, and very nice. He was easy on the eyes too, which always helps. I was afraid I’d end up with some old creepy dude like my friend Rhonda did a few weeks back. But I lucked out. He tested the battery and proclaimed it dead. We both paused for a few minutes in a moment of silence. Then he jumped it. Wow, that sounded sexual. Anyway, he got it to start with the jumper cables and told me I’d be ok to drive home or to a mechanic but as soon as I shut it off it’d be done. I thanked him and headed on my way.
The whole drive home I was terrified that it would stall on the Expressway or Interstate and I’d be the cause of a 5 car pile-up – and I’d be at the bottom of the pile. The news story would read, “Grieving husband sues AAA for letting wife drive on a bad battery” and CJ and Isabella would be set for life. Hundreds would show up at my funeral, hoping to catch a glimpse of the woman who died such a tragic death.
But none of that happened and I made it home fine. Once I got here I scooped myself up a big bowl of ice cream and promptly ate it with Munchkin. Hey, I deserved it!
Meanwhile CJ pulled the dearly departed battery out and went out to buy a new one. Apparently there was some “ta do” at the auto parts place because the battery they originally told him he needed was not the right one and they had to scramble to find another. But it all worked out and by 8:30, my new battery was installed and humming along.
I’m so glad I have a handy husband. He can fix darn near anything around here, which is really quite convenient for me and our checking account. CJ doesn’t always love it since he’s the one doing the work but whatever. If you have the skills man…besides, I do projects too when I can, like making sure to eat all the chocolate chip cookie dough before it goes bad in the ‘fridge. What can I say, I’m a giver.
Anyway, that was my drama for the day. Now it’s time to go put my pointer finger on ice. It’s hard work catapulting those birds in the air for 60 minutes!
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Pounding
This is going to be short and sweet because I have very little energy left. I got kicked in the butt by allergies yesterday. The cottonwoods I think. It’s carried over to today. It’s either that or a summer cold. Either way, I feel awful.
Aches. Stuffiness. Scratchy throat. Tired. Pounding headache.
It’s the headache that really gets me. It’s not constant. It’s more of an awful surprise. It’ll come in waves. One minute I’ll be just fine and then the next a wave of pain hits my left temple. Been that way all day.
Isabella was not in a mood to be gentle on mommy either. She is in a stubborn stage. She dropped her oobie and said “Give it back! Mine!” I told her that was not a nice way to ask. That she had to say please. She looked me in the eyes and shook her head no. Ok then, no oobie. So she cried. Sorry kid, tears won’t do it!
Then during her bath she was throwing water out of the tub. I told her to stop and she kept doing it so we ended bath time early and out she went. More tears. She wanted her oobie. Again she wouldn’t say please so it was time out in the crib while I got her clothes ready for tomorrow.
Eventually she calmed down and we read some stories together. Well, she read them to me in her abbreviated Isabella way. She actually gets everything right, she just says it differently. It’s very cute.
Now she’s asleep and I’m 2 seconds away from a bowl of ice cream. The ice cream and I have a date with the couch. I’m going to lay down with a good book and relax. I haven’t done that since I was pregnant. It will be just what I need to unwind.
And hopefully stop the pounding.
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Like Mother Like Daughter
Isabella has always been a great little shopping buddy. She sits in the cart with no problem and is content to ride around and look at stuff. She doesn’t complain or whine or cry. Sometimes she’ll start to get antsy but it’s easily curtailed with a snack or toy.
Consequently, I love taking her shopping with me. Yesterday was a whole other matter though.
Omaha is going through a heat wave right now. It’s over 100 degrees out there, and that’s before the heat index is factored in. Needless to say we were looking for indoor activities during the weekend. At least for me and Isabella. CJ headed to the lake for sand volleyball on Sunday but it was way too hot for Munchkin and I had no desire to be out in the heat either. So she and I were planning to go grocery shopping and then kick back at home and enjoy a beautiful thing called air conditioning.
I ran out Sunday morning for a meetup with friends and on my way home (about 12:30) got a call from CJ that someone was coming to look at our house at 2pm. I ran home and we frantically cleaned and straightened while Isabella napped. All of a sudden I got some cramps and ran in to the bathroom, hit with a case of the runs. Yes, I’m talking to you about poop again!
Great timing. Here I am trying to clean and get ready to dash out when suddenly I am chained to the toilet. I took an Immodium and prayed.
Isabella woke up and we headed out. I still wasn’t feeling great but didn’t have any choice but to leave. We headed over to Target to grab lunch before shopping. As we’re sitting in the cafe eating, Isabella starts making her poop face.
And this was a SERIOUS poop face. Bright red face, flared nostrils, eyes staring in to space and her mouth in a firm grimace. Since we’re trying to make her aware of her potties I asked if she was pooping. She looked right at me, still red-faced, and said “No.”
Um, really? Honey, you’re not fooling anyone. Not even that emo kid refilling his Mountain Dew behind you.
So I went and changed her in the Target bathroom.
Then we hit the aisles and started filling up the cart. Not 5 minutes in to our shopping Isabella says, “Mommy, I pooped again.” Since her track record had already showed her to not be entirely truthful today, I nodded and smiled. Until it hit me – the smell. She wasn’t kiddin’ this time!
I figured I would shop my way up to the front and then change her again. By the time we got up front, the smell was unbearable. I’m pretty sure we were getting nasty looks from other shoppers too. So I hurried to the restroom again. This time it was Munch who had the runs. It was a mess to clean and I almost used up all the wipes. I did use my last diaper so I prayed that she would hold off on number 2 #3 until we got home.
When we got back to our cart Munchkin decided she was done with riding and needed to be carried. I really wasn’t feeling up to holding her and pushing the cart and trying to pick out good bananas all at the same time. I told her to walk or ride. She chose walk. But only for a few feet at which point she grabbed my leg and started crying, “Mommy hold you! Mommy hold you!” To avoid the impending scene, I picked her up.
I could still smell the stench. I thought it was just from the trauma of it all. Then Isabella said “I still smell poopoos mommy.” Great. If the 2 year old could smell it and articulate it, it must be real.
I looked and she hadn’t gone again. However I discovered that the bottom of her shirt was wet and “pooed” on from before. And I was holding her and therefore had poo guts on my arm. Oh ick. I put her back in the cart. I didn’t care if she was crying. I didn’t want to hold her with poop all over her back!
Of course I didn’t have a change of clothes with me (for either of us). So off to the children’s department we ran and Isabella got to pick out a new Sesame Street shirt.
By this point I was done with shopping. Screw my list. I wanted to go home. I paid for our stuff and headed out to the car. As soon as we stepped outside we were hit with the soupy humid air and Isabella said, “It’s hot mommy. Can you blow on it?” If only I had that power then we would be rich! But alas, I don’t.
I unloaded the groceries to the car and quickly changed Isabella in to her new shirt. I also wiped the cart down as best I could. Then we headed home. I was praying the perspective buyers would be gone so that I could have my house back – and a fresh stack of diapers. Fortunately they were and the rest of the afternoon was fine. No more exploding diarrhea (for either of us).
I did however feel well enough to have a hot caramel sundae later that night. Hey, it was National Ice Cream Day. It would be unAmerican NOT to have some.
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Team Trader Mom 