And then another thing

Posted in Miscellaneous by teamtradermom

Last night I had to swing by the grocery store on my way home from work. This is a pretty normal recurrence in my life. Usually it’s for things like milk and bananas and this trip was no exception.

I had a long day to begin with and was looking forward to getting home and having some quality family time. My plan was to jet in and out of the store – fast as lightning!

The universe had other ideas.

I got to the store and scored rock star parking. Yes!! Like a good little environmentally friendly girl, I went to the trunk to get my canvas shopping bags. However, I had forgotten that my car was loaded down with like 50 cardboard boxes (flattened) that I had snagged from a co-worker.

Not sure how I could have forgotten this since they were precluding my view in the rearview mirror the whole drive, but somehow I did. Anyway, I open up back (I drive an SUV) and half of the boxes came sliding out, all over the parking lot.

Shit. That’s what I said. I stood there in a daze, not quite sure what had just happened and then said “shit” out loud. Some guy walking by looked at me and kept going.

I couldn’t just pick them up and throw them back in because they were slippery little guys and would just slide right out. So I had to wrestle the door closed and somehow get all those boxes back in the car. One by one I slide them in through the rear driver side door and over the back seat into the trunk. Several people walked by and stared. No one stopped to help. They must have thought I had just gotten the boxes from the store. I let them think that.

When that was all done I made a beeline inside. There was an old woman dawdling by the carts so I scooted around her and grabbed the closest one, not realizing it was one with a busted wheel until I was half way in to the store and tried to turn it.

Shit, I said again. I HATE getting carts that are jacked up. It makes the shopping experience that much worse. I already hate grocery shopping, and now I have to wrestle with my cart. But I was in a hurry and didn’t want to turn around and dodge the old lady again just to get a new cart. I figured I’d deal with it.

So I spent the entire shopping trip manhandling this cart. I had to strong-arm it with my left hand to keep from veering right. And when it was time to turn, I had to practically pick the thing up. I’m sure I looked really cool, leaning all my weight in to this cart while balancing on 4 inch heels.

(source)

And then the store didn’t even have 3 of the items I needed.

I got everything I could and headed for the check out. I ended up in line behind some gal who bought 10 boxes of granola bars thinking they were on sale for $1.99 and not realizing you needed a special coupon for that. So she pitched a fit until the cashier caved and gave her the cheaper price.

While waiting, I checked my phone and saw I had a voicemail from CJ. He was asking me to grab sour cream for our dinner that night. I wasn’t about to get out of line and take the gimpy cart to the very back of the store so I decided to pay for what I had, then set the cart aside and run back for the sour cream, paying for it separately. I could have just pretended I didn’t get the VM but that would have been wrong. After all, a sour cream-less dinner is just criminal.

It was finally my turn and I checked out with no problem. I then parked my cart, ran back for the goods and was soon headed out the door. Guess what? The cart from hell is even harder to operate when you get it outside on the concrete. I was literally leaning sideways on this thing trying to get it down the aisle. The same guy who passed me earlier, when I had boxes strewn all over tarnation passed me again and I got another look, like wow, this lady has problems.

I got to my car and almost – ALMOST – opened the trunk again. I had my hand on the handle and everything. But I remembered at the last-minute and dodged that bullet. Due to all the boxes though, the only free space available was Isabella’s car seat. I was able to cram 2 paper sacks, 1 plastic one and a box of baby wipes into the car seat and on the floor in front of it, all the while avoiding door dinging the car next to me. What can I say, I rock.

I was tempted to leave my cart where it was, behind the car, and simply back over it, putting both it and any future shoppers out of their misery. But I didn’t want to scratch my car. So I practically threw it in the cart corral. I thought about leaving a note on it that said, “My time is done, please put me to sleep” but didn’t.

(source)

I drove home and again went through the process of wrestling the groceries out of the car seat and up the stairs. I arrived just in time for dinner, which was already finished, sans sour cream. *sigh*

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3Aug2011

And This is Why We Have Roadside Assistance

Posted in CJ, Miscellaneous by teamtradermom

Today started off pretty normal. Got up, went to work, did work stuff and then headed out for a doctor’s appointment. 45 minutes later I was back in my car. I had to make a few phone calls and instead of turning the car all the way on, I just turned it enough to roll down the windows. Though it’s hot out, there was a nice breeze and I didn’t want to waste gas. I called CJ and my mom and then it was time to head back to work.

I turned the key in the ignition and nothing. Hmm. I tried again. Still nothing. Well poop. I tried a third time and then faced facts that my battery was dead.

I called CJ wondering what I should do and he reminded me that this is why we pay for AAA. Ah ha! I knew that brilliant idea of mine way back in October would pay off! Ok so it was CJ’s idea but I wrote the check so I can take some credit.

The lady I talked to was very friendly. She asked if I needed a jump start or a tow. Well, maybe both. What if they can’t jump it? So she put on the order that I needed both and that someone would be there within 45 minutes.

Thank god for Angry Birds! I stood outside the front door of the doctor’s office and played Angry Birds for an hour, interspersed with some texting and Facebook updates. Die little green hogs die!

(Source)

Finally I saw the tow truck pull up. I directed him to my vehicle and he pulled in behind it. Naturally, because this is a tow truck, it’s not exactly small and was blocking a few cars around me, one of which had a lady in it. Neither the tow truck dude nor I noticed her getting ready to back out until she came over and said in a very snotty voice, “Um, do you mind if I back out first?” Dude and I looked at each other and nodded in a look that said, “Wow, what a bitch.”

Once that was done he got his battery test kit thingie and came over. He was a young kid, probably mid-20’s, and very nice. He was easy on the eyes too, which always helps. I was afraid I’d end up with some old creepy dude like my friend Rhonda did a few weeks back. But I lucked out. He tested the battery and proclaimed it dead. We both paused for a few minutes in a moment of silence. Then he jumped it. Wow, that sounded sexual. Anyway, he got it to start with the jumper cables and told me I’d be ok to drive home or to a mechanic but as soon as I shut it off it’d be done. I thanked him and headed on my way.

The whole drive home I was terrified that it would stall on the Expressway or Interstate and I’d be the cause of a 5 car pile-up – and I’d be at the bottom of the pile. The news story would read, “Grieving husband sues AAA for letting wife drive on a bad battery” and CJ and Isabella would be set for life. Hundreds would show up at my funeral, hoping to catch a glimpse of the woman who died such a tragic death.

But none of that happened and I made it home fine. Once I got here I scooped myself up a big bowl of ice cream and promptly ate it with Munchkin. Hey, I deserved it!

Meanwhile CJ pulled the dearly departed battery out and went out to buy a new one. Apparently there was some “ta do” at the auto parts place because the battery they originally told him he needed was not the right one and they had to scramble to find another. But it all worked out and by 8:30, my new battery was installed and humming along.

I’m so glad I have a handy husband. He can fix darn near anything around here, which is really quite convenient for me and our checking account. CJ doesn’t always love it since he’s the one doing the work but whatever. If you have the skills man…besides, I do projects too when I can, like making sure to eat all the chocolate chip cookie dough before it goes bad in the ‘fridge. What can I say, I’m a giver.

Anyway, that was my drama for the day. Now it’s time to go put my pointer finger on ice. It’s hard work catapulting those birds in the air for 60 minutes!

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22Jun2011

The Customer Is Always Right! Right?

Posted in Miscellaneous by teamtradermom

I have had a string of bad customer service experiences lately. I must be a magnet for them. And seriously, I am like the nicest customer. When I call in to someone for help, I say please, I listen to what they say, I give them the benefit of the doubt, I say thank you and wish them a nice day and then politely hang up.

Yet somehow I don’t always get that same respect in return.

Some of it isn’t so much the Customer Service Rep being rude but rather not having a clue as to what they’re talking about. You end up getting the run around and suddenly an hour of your life has been sucked away. Case in point: trying to verify a hotel reservation in Des Moines.

I had an incident the other day when trying to deal with my old HSA from my previous job. I had called last week to close the account. The dude I got told me they can’t do it over the phone because I have money in the account so he would send me a form to fill out. Ok fine. I got the form and started to fill it in only to realize I didn’t know my account number and couldn’t find it on the website. So I call them. As soon as the CSR gets on the phone, she asks for my account number. I tell her I don’t have it. She verifies my identity other ways and then gives me the number. She was very nice. She asked why I needed the number so I told her. “Oh we can close your account over the phone!” she says.

Oh really.

Sure! She’ll just get that done for me right away. Great! I write “VOID” at the top of my form and then she tells me that I have a negative balance so all I have to do is send them a check for what I owe and then they’ll close it. Wait, wait, hold the phone. How did my account balance go from positive to negative in a week when I haven’t used it in 2 months? She puts me on hold to look in to it. When she comes back she says it’s because I ordered checks. Um, no I didn’t. She says they have a signature card from me. Well not sure how they got that but I didn’t order checks (unless I sent the form in thinking it was for the new HSA I have – all this benefits stuff is very confusing). She cancels the order and tells me to go ahead and send in the form. But I thought you were closing it over the phone? Well I can’t do that now that you have a positive balance.

It was at this point that I turned green and popped out of my clothes as I ran down the hallway.

How much is my balance I ask? Ready for this? $1.03. That’s right. I have just over a dollar in there. I told her to keep the dollar and close my account. Nope can’t do that, I must send in the form. Well lady guess what, I already wrote VOID at the top of the form. No problem, just cross that out and send it in. Fine.

Guess what? Yesterday I got 2 pieces of mail from this HSA company. One of them was the book of checks she had canceled and the other was a letter saying I’d get my checks in 7-10 days.

I can’t make this stuff up!!

My other bad customer service experience was around our taxes. Back in April we found out that our accountants had screwed up our forms and instead of getting a refund we now owed – and owed big. I was furious. I called them and demanded that they at least refund the money that we had paid them to DO IT RIGHT! The owner agreed and said the check would be in the mail the next day. That was April 6th. We never got the check. What we did get on Friday was a letter from the IRS saying we now owed MORE money because of an amended return. So I called up the accountant today and told him 1) you still owe me money and 2) why did you amend our taxes without telling us? He stuttered and bobbled and said he’d look in to it and get back to me.

10 to 1 says I don’t hear from him at all. But don’t you worry, I’ll call him back every day until they get this straightened out. I don’t like to be THAT person but I sure can be if needed!

So I’m trying to be Zen and get rid of whatever bad karma I must have around me. I don’t like dealing with these situations and having to be a royal bitch to people but sometimes you have to stick up for yourself.

And then go home and dive in to a pint of Rocky Road.

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11Jun2011

Ahhhh..

Posted in Miscellaneous by teamtradermom

Just got done with a 90 minute massage. OMG did that feel good. I felt releases of stress several times and feel totally relaxed. I’m now sitting at a park, drinking a smoothie and contemplating a nap. My eyes feel heavy and a little snooze sounds devine. Maybe just for 20 min or so.

Ahhhh…namaste.

20May2011

Hello Luvva…

Posted in Miscellaneous by teamtradermom

I was reunited with an old flame earlier this week. I had forgotten just how much I loved our time together. It was sweet. It was naughty. It was hot and cold at the same time. I felt slightly guilty about it each time we met, but the guilt was soon washed away by the unbelievable satisfaction it gave me.

I’m talking about my old friend, the Bachelor Sundae.

What, you thought it was something more scandalous? Get your minds out of the gutter people!

The Bachelor Sundae was created many many years ago by one of my ex-boyfriends. It’s about the only positive thing to come out of that relationship. Basically, he was hungry for something sweet and decided to make a dessert out of ingredients he had lying around the house. In his case, being a bachelor, that meant ice cream, Pop Tarts and peanut butter. But oh what a combination!

I used to make these all the time when we were dating, and even for a while afterwards because it’s just so yummy. But then I got on a health kick and stopped buying Pop Tarts and this faded from my memory. For Mother’s Day I bought myself a box of those yummy chocolate toaster pastries and it just so happened we had ice cream too. The light bulb went off over my head and hence my blissful reunion with Mr. Sundae.

Fortunately, by the time I remembered this treat we only had 3 Pop Tarts left so I could only eat this 3 nights in a row. But believe you me, I did just that! And it was AMAZING! I practically needed a cigarette afterwards!

Here’s what ya do.

1) Put a Pop Tart in the toaster and toast.

It can be any kind of Pop Tart – remember, we’re using whatever you have lying around the house. I prefer chocolate ones but anything will do. If you don’t have Pop Tarts, use a cookie or graham cracker or something like that. Don’t toast the cookie though – that would be really messy.

Once it’s done, immediately spread peanut butter on it. You want the Pop Tart to still be warm so that the PB will be all ooey-gooey (yes, that’s a technical term).

Now all you have to do is scoop out your favorite ice cream! Again, I prefer something with chocolate in it but you can use whatever you have or love.

You can stop here if you want or add other garnish. I’ve put hot fudge on it before, chocolate chips, bananas, caramel, whipped cream, and strawberries (not all at the same time, though you could do that too – anything goes!!!).

Ta da! Behold – the Bachelor Sundae! I tell you, it’s to die for. The warm chocolate Pop Tart combined with the gooey PB and cold ice cream is the perfect combo. Warning – this is not for anyone on a diet! There is nothing low fat/low calorie/healthy about it – except that PB is good protein! But if you’re looking for a quick and easy treat, look no further!

My old flame is now once again a thing of the past. It was fun while it lasted. And now I must get back on the straight and narrow, and rendezvous with P90X…who will not be happy about Mr. Bachelor Sundae.

Be gentle Tony Horton, be gentle.

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