Isabella has always been a great little shopping buddy. She sits in the cart with no problem and is content to ride around and look at stuff. She doesn’t complain or whine or cry. Sometimes she’ll start to get antsy but it’s easily curtailed with a snack or toy.
Consequently, I love taking her shopping with me. Yesterday was a whole other matter though.
Omaha is going through a heat wave right now. It’s over 100 degrees out there, and that’s before the heat index is factored in. Needless to say we were looking for indoor activities during the weekend. At least for me and Isabella. CJ headed to the lake for sand volleyball on Sunday but it was way too hot for Munchkin and I had no desire to be out in the heat either. So she and I were planning to go grocery shopping and then kick back at home and enjoy a beautiful thing called air conditioning.
I ran out Sunday morning for a meetup with friends and on my way home (about 12:30) got a call from CJ that someone was coming to look at our house at 2pm. I ran home and we frantically cleaned and straightened while Isabella napped. All of a sudden I got some cramps and ran in to the bathroom, hit with a case of the runs. Yes, I’m talking to you about poop again!
Great timing. Here I am trying to clean and get ready to dash out when suddenly I am chained to the toilet. I took an Immodium and prayed.
Isabella woke up and we headed out. I still wasn’t feeling great but didn’t have any choice but to leave. We headed over to Target to grab lunch before shopping. As we’re sitting in the cafe eating, Isabella starts making her poop face.
And this was a SERIOUS poop face. Bright red face, flared nostrils, eyes staring in to space and her mouth in a firm grimace. Since we’re trying to make her aware of her potties I asked if she was pooping. She looked right at me, still red-faced, and said “No.”
Um, really? Honey, you’re not fooling anyone. Not even that emo kid refilling his Mountain Dew behind you.
So I went and changed her in the Target bathroom.
Then we hit the aisles and started filling up the cart. Not 5 minutes in to our shopping Isabella says, “Mommy, I pooped again.” Since her track record had already showed her to not be entirely truthful today, I nodded and smiled. Until it hit me – the smell. She wasn’t kiddin’ this time!
I figured I would shop my way up to the front and then change her again. By the time we got up front, the smell was unbearable. I’m pretty sure we were getting nasty looks from other shoppers too. So I hurried to the restroom again. This time it was Munch who had the runs. It was a mess to clean and I almost used up all the wipes. I did use my last diaper so I prayed that she would hold off on number 2 #3 until we got home.
When we got back to our cart Munchkin decided she was done with riding and needed to be carried. I really wasn’t feeling up to holding her and pushing the cart and trying to pick out good bananas all at the same time. I told her to walk or ride. She chose walk. But only for a few feet at which point she grabbed my leg and started crying, “Mommy hold you! Mommy hold you!” To avoid the impending scene, I picked her up.
I could still smell the stench. I thought it was just from the trauma of it all. Then Isabella said “I still smell poopoos mommy.” Great. If the 2 year old could smell it and articulate it, it must be real.
I looked and she hadn’t gone again. However I discovered that the bottom of her shirt was wet and “pooed” on from before. And I was holding her and therefore had poo guts on my arm. Oh ick. I put her back in the cart. I didn’t care if she was crying. I didn’t want to hold her with poop all over her back!
Of course I didn’t have a change of clothes with me (for either of us). So off to the children’s department we ran and Isabella got to pick out a new Sesame Street shirt.
By this point I was done with shopping. Screw my list. I wanted to go home. I paid for our stuff and headed out to the car. As soon as we stepped outside we were hit with the soupy humid air and Isabella said, “It’s hot mommy. Can you blow on it?” If only I had that power then we would be rich! But alas, I don’t.
I unloaded the groceries to the car and quickly changed Isabella in to her new shirt. I also wiped the cart down as best I could. Then we headed home. I was praying the perspective buyers would be gone so that I could have my house back – and a fresh stack of diapers. Fortunately they were and the rest of the afternoon was fine. No more exploding diarrhea (for either of us).
I did however feel well enough to have a hot caramel sundae later that night. Hey, it was National Ice Cream Day. It would be unAmerican NOT to have some.
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